Sweet talk and tasteless conversations.

2010-08-15T09:37:00.001-07:00

I love watching meaningful dramas =D
Especially investigation shows!

In this world, there is no such thing as fair, a tooth for a tooth, and eye for an eye. Because everything is Unfair

Well, I have not been studying productively!
SUPER SUPER NOT! =(
So I'm going to make FULL use of my monday 16 August
to STUDY! And slim down. LIKE SERIOUSLY.
Wrote my to buy list, Shopping place list and STUFF =D
HAPPY HAPPY ME! GLAD THAT I'M MORE ORGANIZED THIS TIME ROUND!

-----------------------

My weight have been a H.U.G.E obstacle for me since I was young.
Ever since my operation, I had been drinking and eating
like I will DIE without a meal in a day.
Well, now, look at me, FAT MORE FAT AND EVEN MORE FAT.
I've been trying and trying to slim down but it seems like
it doesn't work on me. Maybe I just CAN'T BE SLIM.
It's just NOT in my life. The word SLIM/SKINNY is not in my dictionary.
My dictionary only has "ELEPHANT THIGHS" "BUTTERFLY ARMS" "BIG FAT BUTT" AND "BEER BELLY". I really want to get a belly piercing =( But getting it HAS NO USE if I have a FAT UGLY stomach.

People think that I'm discipline to slim down but they are awfully wrong. I'm NOT discipline AT ALL. I've been wanting to give up SO MANY MANY TIMES. But I've TRIED. I really have!!Like I've said before, I used to quarrel with my parents over my weight, cry when I'm in the bed because of my weight, force myself to not eat even though my stomach is growling.

So.. why isn't GOD answering my prayers? Everyday, my prayer will include "SLIM DOWN". Every "grace" I will pray that I will control my food intake. Why can't I be slim?! Maybe it's just impossible after all. It's just not going to happen to me.

---------------

I'M GONNA STUDY HARD!
ESTHER IS GOING TO STUDY REALLY REALLY HARD!
I'M GOING TO SURE THAT I WILL STUDY HARD AND DO VERY VERY WELL!
SO THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO GET INTO A GOOD UNIVERSITY!
AND THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO GET A GOOD JOB AND BE RICH! HOHOHO
GOD, PLEASE WALK WITH ME THROUGH MY JOURNEY.
NO MORE LOSS OF CONCENTRATION WHILE STUDYING!
NO MORE DISTRACTIONS!

2010-08-12T08:53:00.001-07:00

WHY AM I STILL SLACKING?
I HAVE 5 PAPERS FOR MY END SEM TEST WHILE OTHERS HAVE 1-4 ONLY!!
AND THEY ARE ALREADY STUDYING!!
I HAVE 5 PAPERS 5 PAPERS 5 PAPERS!! =(

2010-08-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

HTHTs with the girls had been GREAT.
I managed to get everything out of my minds.
All the anger that I've been bottling up. All the hatred that I've been tolerating.

OKAY EXCITING PART OF A DRAMA NOW!!! BYE

2010-08-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

Grow to love - It does not apply to you at all.
I am REALLY REALLY bad at pretending.
If I don't like someone, my face will tell it. It's SUPER OBVIOUS.
The way I talk to you, the way I respond to you, the way I act around you and to you is DIFFERENT.

I really don't know how am I gonna stand you for half more year (HOPEFULLY)
Who are you to scold her?! Do you think that you're so bad and great
and that everything you say is RIGHT? OMG. SHE COULD ACTUALLY GO TO THE ARCADE IF I DIDN'T ASK HER TO WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH BUYING KOI OKAY! PLEASE, IF YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE A LOT OF COMMON SENSE, YOU DON'T! WHAT KIND OF COMMON SENSE SAYS THAT YOU CAN PURPOSELY PON LECTURES AND COME COPY NOTES FROM US!! AND WHY MUST WE ALWAYS AGREE WITH YOU AND DO WHAT YOU SAY. EVERY TIME I TALK BACK BECAUSE I THINK IT'S WRONG, YOU'LL ARGUE UNTIL YOU WIN. THEN LATER WHEN I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT I AM RIGHT THEN YOU'LL GO LIKE "OH, OKAY LOR" WITH THAT ABCDEFG FACE!!

I THINK THAT I'VE BEEN BITCHING ABOUT YOU TO HW AND AUD ALL THE TIME! OMG. SERIOUSLY BECAUSE I CANNOT TOLERATE YOU! EVERYDAY, MY "HATRED" TOWARDS YOU INCREASES! BECAUSE OF YOU ACTIONS, ATTITUDE AND WHATEVER. I think that they know that I don't really like you and I don't feel like talking to you! I REALLY DON'T!
BECAUSE EVERY TIME I START TALKING TO YOU, YOU'LL ARGUE YOUR WAY A.G.A.I.N.

And, WHO CELEBRATES THEIR 18TH BIRTHDAY WITH 1 CANDLE ON A BIG CAKE?! ABCDEFG

2010-07-24T00:06:00.000-07:00

OMG!! SO ANGRY NOW!!
This thing didn't just happen but I just thought of it
and it made me angry!! ARGHH!
HELLO GROUP PROJECT = EVERYONE DO THEIR PART RIGHT?!
SO WHAT IF WE ONLY HAVE 5 WEEKS TO COMPLETE?!
YOU CHOSE TO DO THE WINE LIST AND WE LET YOU DO!!
THEN WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK YOU JUST KEPT GIVING MR DCHIA
THE SAME OLD PAPER EVERY WEEK WITH ONLY 20+ WINES?!
HELLO!! WE NEED 88!! OMG!
AND DEADLINE IS ON MONDAY!!
ALL OF US HAVE DONE OUR PART,
WE FINISHED OUR DISHES MENU AND PROPOSAL ALREADY LOR!! HELLO!!
WE HAVE LIKE 123456789 DISHES AND YOU ONLY NEED 88 WINES AND YOU
STILL CAN'T FIND IT?! OMG! AND MY DCHIA ALREADY TOLD US THAT WE NEEDED
TO LOOK AT A REAL WINE LIST SO THAT WE CAN DO OUR MENU PROPERLY AND
YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE IT A DAMN! OMG!
WE HAVE ALL DONE OUR PART THEN YOU COME AND TELL US
" EH THE WINE LIST VERY HARD TO DO LEH AND SO MUCH TO DO "
THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN CHOOSE TO DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
SOMEMORE YOU HAD 4 WEEKS TO GO AND RESEARCH ON IT!
EVERYTIME DURING PROJECTS YOU ALWAYS USE FB AND TWITTER AND STUFF.
THAT ONE IS OKAY LA CAUSE ALL OF US DOES THAT BUT
CAN YOU LIKE FINISH YOUR WORK BEFORE YOU PLAY?!
THEN YOU CAN JUST SIT DOWN THERE AND USE THE COM WHILE
THE REST OF US ARE DOING OUR WORK!
WE DO SLACK A LITTLE BUT WE KNOW WHEN TO STOP SLACKING AND DO OUR WORK!

THEN NOW WE HAVE TO DO EXTRA WORK FOR YOU ALREADY LA!!

PPPPPPPMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2010-07-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

Today is just one of the days when I feel like blogging, for no reason. Haha.
Well, Poly life has been..... like that? haha
Not much comments. Project work SUCKS especially when it is not easy to do.
DANCE HAVE BEEN AWESOME MUCH?! =D
Am really happy to be able to know the DOPERZ.
I think that I'm closer to them much more than I am with my classmates =D
Though my classmates might know more about me because we spend more
time together but... I LOVE THE DOPERZ SO MUCH =D

Poly life just got me thinking. Thinking of a lot of things.
I have no idea how my brain could actually work so efficiently when
it comes to this kind of problems but.. ya, it just does.

I really really miss my secondary school life + people =(
I enjoyed being in 4R5 SOOOO MUCH and my classmates were AWESOME!!
Though we guai lan each other everyday but.. it was because of it that
we became SO BONDED =D
When I was in 4R5, I always wanted to hurry up and go to Poly but now...

-------------------------

I really wonder how can guys forget about the girl they previously like
so quickly!! Because I want that genes too!! =(
Well, girls are girls. This is what girls are famous for, harping on the past
and unable to forget the person whom we previously liked.
Girls are just much more emotional than guys, FULLSTOP. =(
I really wonder how they are able to do so.. Seriously.

------------------------

I can't think of anything else to write now but... ya
will update more when I have the time =)

-----------------------

Inspired from Audrey :
I don't like it when I have to act like I'm okay with that person when everything the person does disgust me and makes me dislike her even more!!!
I DON'T LIKE ACTING! =(

2010-07-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

I AM FREAKING ANGRY NOW! OMG!

RHT SURVEY : SCREWED.
RHT REPORT : EVEN MORE SCREWED! SERIOUSLY!
I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER X 1000000000000000000000000000 TRUST MY RHT TEACHER EVER AGAIN!
THANKS MR. FOR SAYING THAT OUR SURVEY WAS WELL DONE. THANKS FOR MAKING US BELIEVE THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO DO OUR PROJECT SMOOTHLY.
THANKS TEACHER FOR NOT TELLING US THAT WE NEED QUANTITATIVE QUESTIONS AND DATA FOR A TOPIC THAT WE HAD NOT LEARN YET THEN AND THAT WE NEED TO INCLUDE IT IN OUR REPORT.
THANKS TEACHER FOR MAKING JERENE AND I FEEL LIKE CRYING. THANKS TEACHER. SERIOUSLY. THANK YOU FOR MAKING US LOOK LIKE IDIOTS USING THE EXCEL FOR 4-5 HOURS AND COMING UP WITH NO TABLES AT ALL. SERIOUSLY THANK YOU SO MUCH. AS A RESULT, I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU MY GRATITUDE BY PRESENTING YOU WITH NO TABLES AT ALL BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT DATA. 100 UNLESS SURVEYS THAT CAN'T EVEN BE ANALYZED PROPERLY.

LASTLY, THANKS FOR MAKING US FAIL RHT.

2010-07-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

I AM SOOO ANGRY NOW!!
BUT I NEED TO COMPLETE 123456789 PROJECTS NOW.
SHALL ELABORATE MORE NEXT TIME. BYE!

2010-07-03T00:57:00.000-07:00

I just suddenly feel like blogging. I have no idea why. I wanted to blog about something but I forgot already. Haha.

Well. Am studying for F&B test today. Whoever made us CRASH so many topics into one test SUCKS LIKE SHIT. I can slap that person. It's like... It takes A LONG WHILE to fully understand and differentiate all the fruits, vegetables, herbs, spices, diary products, WHAT TYPE OF FOOD COMES FROM WHERE. Seriously! WHY CRASH SOOO MANY?!

Okay. I SHOULD stop using the com and continue to study already. I DON'T LIKE MEMORY WORK! =*( I'm HORRIBLE at memorizing. =*(

Anyway, I bought the Fred Perry shoe that I've been EYEING!! HOHOHO. And bought a pair of Havainas with Huiwen. Yesterday was such a "shoe" day. Haha. Okay I NEED TO STOP SPENDING.

I think I wanted to complain about school but I seriously forgot what I wanted to write!! =( Now, blog is the only place where I can REALLY rant because only the NAS people know about this space.

-------------------------

All of us are there for the same objective, it's our passion. Why must you be so competitive and stuff?!! Just improve for yourself and not for others. - is not plainly for competitions! But it's the process and the way you express yourself through it. So what if other people are not as good as you at the things that you do? I don't know if it's on purpose or what but you kept pin pointing our weakness until it REALLY pissed me off. Like please la, I know that I might not be better than you but at least I'm trying to improve myself. But now you're thinking that you're the best. And.. STOP SHOWING OFF! I know that the word "Showing off" is subjective because some people might not think that it's actually showing off but I feel as if it is. I'm just gonna keep myself away from you as much as I can.

----------------------------

BACK TO STUDYING

2010-06-10T06:17:00.000-07:00

My To-Do-List for the holidays.

1. Watch Movie =D
2. Complete ALL my projects =*(
3. Go to Muji
4. Get SNEAKERS. - Hopefully I can get them cheap.
5. Get a few more dance clothings.
6. Meet the girls
7. Meet the NAS peeps
8. PLEASE settle Tapestry stuff. OHMEGEE
9. Clear my room & Wardrobe.

Thoughts...

2010-06-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

Finally blogging after so long. My last post was before Mid Sem Test? Well, I have no idea why but I have a lot of things going through my mind now.

Random :

1. I am very gullible. Like SERIOUSLY gullible. I should stop falling into people's tricks and traps. I MUST.

2. I really don't know how to react when I'm actually not that happy and comfortable with people in my class. I want to disagree but I can't.

3. Group projects are a waste of time. Especially when we HAVE to meet up every time when we need to discuss about something ( not exactly very important ). ARGHH. Can't we just split the work and do it THEN consolidate them together?!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

4. I don't think that I suit to be a dancer. There is no shy dancer around in this world. Dancers are the most loud and vibrant people AND are not shy to strangers. I don't like the way I act when everyone is dancing by themselves and ALL I CAN DO IS LOOK, STARE AND DAYDREAM. I feel REALLY helpless at that moment but... I JUST CAN'T MOVE!!! Maybe I should just give up. I can't improve like this. I can't go for competitions like SYTYCD if I remain like this. And anyway, I'm not improving fast enough. Techniques, style, groove. I DON'T HAVE THEM AT ALL.

5. It is really difficult to find someone that you can talk to about anything under the sky. Someone whom you can click with like you've known each other for years and someone whom you will feel comfortable with. I really wonder how am I gonna find such a "someone" next time.

6. I should try and hide my feelings more. It's TOO OBVIOUS when I'm unhappy or sad. I know that I will be fake and stuff BUT I just don't like to show people that I'm angry or whatever. Well, many people say that I don't have the angry face BUT, when I'm upset or angry, like REALLY upset or angry, that expression will just automatically appear on my face.

7. Up till now, no one knows how I feel everyday. It's like.. there is something pressing against my heart. Like I'm carrying a heavy burden that I just want to get rid of!

8. Why is this post so emo? =*(

Note to God

2010-05-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak whats in my soul
I’d ask for all the hate to be swept away
For love to overflow

If I wrote a note to God
I’d pour my heart out on each page
I’d ask for war to end
For peace to mend this world
I’d say, I’d say, I’d say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road…… we’re on

If I wrote a note to God
I’d say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness
Put some tenderness in our hearts
And I’d say, I’d say, I’d say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven’t got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we’re on

No, no no no
We can’t do this on our own
So

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven’t got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we’re on

No, no no no
We can’t do this on our own
So, So

If I wrote a note to God

AWESOME SONG! This is an old song but I was just listening to it again while walking home from the library. And I realised that the lyrics are SOO meaningful. Inspires me =D

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Haven't been blogging because I've been twittering SO often. Do follow me on twitter instead if you want. HAHA. But I'll still update this blog from time to time.
Now = STUDY TIME. BYEBYE

TPDE POSEIDON!

2010-05-16T05:23:00.000-07:00

16 May 2010

Just came back from TPDE Orientation Camp yesterday but I was too tired to upload pictures and blog. Anyway, pictures are not with me. haha. Camp was fun! Though it was boring at moments but..What do I expect? It can't be fun ALL the time right? Haha But it was great overall! =D

Night Walk was CREEPY!!!!!!!! BUT FUN! HAHA. I was surprised that I wasn't that scared! HOHOHO. Brave me =D Okay, the people acting were SOOO GOOD! SERIOUSLY! THEY CAN BE ACTORS AND ACTRESSES! I got a shock when someone suddenly crawled to my feet andand WEIHAO JUST TOLD ME JUST NOW THAT IT WAS SHAWN!! OMG?! MY EYE CANDY ( Aud and Huiwen DON'T LAUGH! ) HAHA. SO PS! Somemore I went " Wah! " and retreated. Sobsob. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT WAS HIM!!

Night walk was about a serial killer case and we guessed it correctly! =D SMART POSEIDON! Okay. Planning for Plan Plan was FUN TOO! LOVE POSEIDON'S PLAN PLAN! THE PERFORMANCE WAS AWESOME! THEY HAVE IT IN FACEBOOK! GO WATCH IT!! =D Our theme was "Aeroplane" =D We were just suppose to use actions and feel the music =D AND I JUST FOUND OUT THAT WE GOT 1ST PLACE FOR PLAN PLAN! =D DOPE!!

Okay,

13 May 2010

MJC Choir. FINALLY met my secondary school friends after SOOOOOOOOOOO LONG! HAHA. Miss them MUCHIE! <3>PICTURES!

CALVIN!!! =D <3 Look at the height difference man!! =*(

ERIC JOSUA THAT STUPID GUY WHO JOINED DANCESPORT IN NP WHEN I ASKED HIM TO BE MY PARTNER YEARS AGO!!!!

ZIYING IS LOVED BY MEMEMEME! & Jay Chou la.

Love Bye Love

2010-05-09T02:32:00.000-07:00

I'm like.. REALLY STRESSED OUT NOW?! Okay.. It's not that I don't want to study but... NOTHING GETS INTO MY HEAD AND.. I HAVE A TEST TML!! OHMEGEE! I'M GONNA FAIL! I'M GONNA DIE! I DON'T WANT TML TO COME!! I WANT MORE TIME TO STUDY. I NEED MY BRAIN CAPACITY TO EXPAND. I NEED TO BURN MY NOTES AND DRINK THEM!

Things to complete BY tonight :
Comm Skills research - Print it out
FB fun :
MEAT, FISH AND SEAFOOD, NUTRITION, COOKING AND PRESERVATION METHODS
I learnt Nutrition in Bio in Sec school and I took.. 1 month to learn it? Now I only had 1 SIMPLE LECTURE ( WITHOUT NOTES ) and I'm expected to pass. WOAH.

I better go to the market more often =(

Homework & Projects to COMPLETE :
Comm Skills ( Essay. I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT IT SHIT! )
RHT Tutorial
IntHT Tutorial + 2 Projects :
FIELD TRIP REPORT!! Need to go Intercontinental Hotel soon..
Macro Econs
Prin Mgt + Project : Have to come up with a unique shop.

K. I SHALL TAKE A BREAK AND GO JOGGING.
I HOPE THAT MY BRAIN WILL EXPAND BY THEN!!
FISH AND SEAFOOD!!!!! BUT I STILL CAN'T REMEMBER THOSE THAT I'VE STUDIED ALREADY. THIS IS KILLER. I'M SCREWED!

CCN Day

2010-05-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

It was CCN day today. 7 May 2010.

Had MacroEcons lecture in the morning =D LOVED IT. Though I did day dream a little but I brought myself back from dream land and listened attentively to the lecture. Met the NAS gang after that and ate Design's Grilled fish! =D my FAV. HEHE. Wandered around and spent MONEY! =*( REALLY REALLY BAD.

Went for Novir's dinner but... It was fun =( We were SO out from it. Haiz. It was weirder than I expected. Why don't I seem to fit in TP? Haha. Novir's no good, Class is no good. =( Talking about class... I really don't know if I still can stay with them for 1 year or not. They are all okay but... one person just ruined my mood. Seriously..Actually it's two. haha. The worse thing is.. We know that we hate each other but we still have to act like we're okay. DISGUSTING. I feel like a hypocrite.

I miss my 4R5s!! =( A class with NO conflict. Okay... maybe one..... HAHAHA. But it was SO FUN! All of us can go HIGH together. I really didn't expect Poly to have so much conflict. =( People in poly are so... political. Seriously, I just want to enjoy my 3 years in poly and do well. I don't need to be popular or... whatever. I just want to enjoy my school! Why are some people making this so difficult for me.

Sometimes I agree with my friend.. I'll rather be a guy. A guy doesn't care about conflicts. They all seem to click somehow. They don't gossip as much, don't judge people as much.

I need to pray to GOD and ask him to guide me. If not... I don't know how am I gonna survive in poly. I need peace within me.
A few things that I need to improve on :
1 : Be slighty FIERCER.
2 : Don't care about what people think about me
( No. 2 is really important for me!! )
I tend to think about what others think about me too much.

K. Gonna prepare to study and sleep.
GONNA CHIONG MY WORK DURING THE WEEKENDS!

-------------------

Sudden thoughts :

It's really funny how 1 bad comment can hurt you so much when there are SO many others that are good. Is it natural for people to dwell on the negative instead of looking at the positive? One negative comment can bring your WHOLE day down and even make you think of it constantly. Seriously. After what that CLASSMATE said about me. I suddenly lose a lot of self esteem. Especially in my voice. Now, I kinda hear myself talking and whenever I feel like I'm sqeaky, I'll try to make my voice lower. I don't like this. I don't like to be constantly making sure that I'm not "hated" by people. Why do I even care about how others would think about me? it's my life. I should live it MY way. But well, I guess all girls are like that.

GOAL TO ACHIEVE : DO NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU AND BE YOURSELF. They don't like it? TOO BAD.

* I was really touched when my friend told me that she got REALLY ANGRY and wanted to BOX that classmate when she read the comments =) Even though I just knew her not long. But I was really touched that she would feel that way when I got insulted. =D

ANGRY!!

2010-05-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Today is a B.A.D DAY!

I just found out something. I think many people know about it already because I was busy complaining about it since.. EVER.

Fuck you bitch. Seriously. I can't believe you're actually in Poly now. PLEASE LA. I seriously think that your brain is of a 7 year old?! FAT ASS. You're starting all this internal conflict in class for fuck?! Still say that I'm the #1 most hated person in school FUCK YOU. Look at yourself in the mirror. Are you even eligible to hate me?! If I want a guy then I'll fight with you fair and square! 1 : I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM YOU FAT ASS!

AND WHAT'S WITH MY WHINEY VOICE?! YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?! SO WHAT IF I HAVE A WHINEY VOICE?! I THANK MY GOD FOR GIVING MY SUCH A WHINEY VOICE TO IRRITATE YOU! AND I THANK GOD FOR MAKING ME, ME! AND ALSO, THAT I DON'T HAVE A BRAIN LIKE A 7 YEAR OLD WHEN I'M ALREADY 17! YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU SMOKE AND BECAUSE YOU'RE AN INCORRIGIBLE BITCH THAT I'LL BE SCARED OF YOU?! I WAS TRYING TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE IN MY POLY LIFE AND ENJOY MY 3 YEARS. BUT IF YOU WANT A WAR, YOU GET A WAR.

Putting on WEIGHT! =(

2010-05-02T05:10:00.000-07:00

Sunday : 2 May 2010

I'M OFFICIALLY GAINING BACK ALL THE WEIGHT THAT I'VE LOST. IT'S REALLY REALLY DEMORALISING!!! Went to Sakae to have family lunch and saw my eye candy!! HAPPY HAPPY ME! =D Ate a plate of fried tofu, baby octopus sushi and 1/3 bowl of garlic rice = GUILTY X 10000000000000000000000000000000 I OVER ATE OVER ATE OVER ATE! Was planning to skip dinner BUT MUMMY ASKED ME TO GET POPIAH.So.. since it was healthy and not fatty, I went to get it. = GUILTY X 1000000000000000000000 AGAIN! =( So now.. I don't know what I'm doing but I'm just trying to use up the KAL that I've taken in today. =(

REALLY REALLY FREAKING UPSET THAT I LOSE THE VIDEO THAT I TOOK OF JUNSU =( I'M VERY SURE THAT I RECORDED IT AND AM VERY SURE THAT I TRANSFERRED EVERY FILE BEFORE DELETING IT FROM MY CAM! Not fated =( I ALMOST CRIED!! AND WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO CRY MY BROTHER CAME IN AND I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED. All he said was " Orh, okay lor. Can't help you " SOBSOBSOB. What a NICE brother.

I NEEEED TO STOP CRAVING FOR FOOD AND NEEEEEEED TO CUT DOWN MY PORTIONS A.G.A.I.N!!

Saturday : 1 May 2010

Went to Resorts World to catch ZUNO Showcase =D KIM JUNHO IS REALLY HANDSOME AND CUTE!!!!! KIM JUNSU IS PLAIN AWESOME! Screamed and SCREAMED. =( My VIDEO!!! =( IT HAS MY " JUNSU OPPA SARANG HAE YO " SCREAM INSIDE!! =( HAIZ.

Rushed down to ECP to meet 4R5'09 peeps! SO AWESOME THAT I GOT TO SEE THEM AGAIN!!! SO HAPPY! =D Missed them SOOOOOO MUCHIE.

AM ON MSN NOW DISCUSSING PROJECTS. Photos up soon!

1 May

2010-04-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

1 May seems to have MANY events on.
- ZUNO ( Which I'm going because I have a free ticket!!!! WORTH $150! YEAH MAN )
- 4R5'09 outing. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO GO =( I WANNA SEE MY CLASSMATES AGAIN!!
- NOVIR Sports Day. Can't make it. Haha.

I know that it is only the 2nd week of Poly but I already feel like I don't have time to complete my projects. And.. Why am I blogging now? I should spend my time researching! HAHA. Okay. My lappie is not back yet. =( So I have to do my research on my old com. I feel like trading in my lappie for the HOT PINK Vaio! SO CHIO!

Glad that I woke up at the right side of the bed today =D Smiley Smiley BUT.. I have been feeling EXHAUSTED ever since I woke up! It just seemed as if I didn't have enough sleep. HOWEVER! It was the FIRST time, since... MONTHS, that I slept earlier than 12am!! OH ME GEE!!! KK... have to go and do my research now!!

Things to complete!

- Comm Skills : Youth Addiction
- F&B : A 10 course meal of GAME meat.
- POM : A half page article on my own unique fashion retail shop
- F&B NOTESSSS!!!
- STUDY MY JAPANESE MAN!! TEST TEST TEST

Poly Life

2010-04-30T07:35:00.000-07:00

2nd week of Poly just past. Well, I don't have much exciting things to say. Poly life is.. unexpectedly DULL. SERIOUSLY. It's only the 2nd week of school and I have to complete 4 projects already.

Class : I'm okay with my class.. But, I just can't really click with them? I just can't be MYSELF when I'm with them. Until... Now, I'm not even sure who is the real me. I know that they might hate me or dislike me for keep finding the NAS people but I just really want to go away when I'm with the class. It was worse than 3R5'08.

* There are some things in my heart that I really want to say. But as usual, this place is too public. =( So all I can do is to just keep them in my heart. *

- Poly life is sucking my sleep and life away.

29 April 2010

XIAH JUNSU AND KIM JUNHO CAME TO SINGAPORE! A DAY THAT I WILL REMEMBER. I waited at the airport since 3 plus till 10 plus and only get to see them for less than 7 seconds!!! BUT. I GOT A FREE TICKET TO THE CONCERT!!! YIPPIE.

Met a few weirdos at the airport yesterday. Shall not elaborate.

30 April.

One of the MOST moody day of the month. I'm not sure of it's because of that or not. But.. I just feel REALLY moody. I don't feel like talking. I didn't even really talk in class. I also didn't and couldn't be my normal self with the NAS peeps today. Just PLAIN MOODY. Then WORSE STILL, I had to carry Lr's HEAVY ELEPHANT, HIPPO LIKE LAPTOP HOME. Then when I opened the door, I had this face like I'm going to punch someone soon.
Then my parents asked : WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? WHAT'S WITH THAT FACE?!
Then I just told them : I'm freaking moody today.

What kinda poly life is this?

I have a feeling that I'm going to be hanging on mid air soon. Neither here or there. If the NAS group splits up, I'll rather be a loner than be super close with my classmates because we just don't click. Everytime I talk to them, I use the formal tone. I have to think of what I want to say before I say it out. I have to make sure that whatever I say won't offend them or whether it's too insulting.

Just had class on "Depression" today. I hope I won't get it during my poly life. =(

What if we really split up? Am feeling like we're distancing already.

Choices.

2010-04-28T08:35:00.001-07:00

It's all about the choices that you make in life. Everyday, you will definitely need to make a choice. What time should I wake up? What should I eat? Where should I go? Some decisions are easy, yet others, are horrendously difficult for us to decide. I hate making decisions because I have not been having a good reputation in making good decisions. Choices have consequences. Whatever choice I make, there will be a consequence. It just depends if the consequence is good or bad.

1 : I made a choice to go on a diet. Consequence = Unhappiness
2 : I STILL can't decide whether to go to Airport for Junsu anot. =*(

I really feel like crying. Why am I facing so many difficult decisions today?! I have been thinking about the Junsu thing for DAYS! Everytime when I decided, something will change my mind!! There is always an Angel and a Devil when you are making your decision! HATE IT.

Saw the nutritionist today and.. Expected, I'm asked to cut down my Carbo intake AGAIN. From 1/3 bowl to 1/4. Reduce on this, reduce on that. BLAH BLAH BLAH. And now I hear my stomach growling. It is times like these when I need parental support but my parents are giving me ALL the pressure I need to feel unhappy and upset about this WHOLE DIETING THING. And I officially HATE MYSELF. I think my body hates me too.

Gonna do homework and rush through my researches for my PROJECTSSS

How did we get?

2010-04-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

Had HipHop Dance Audition today. 3 words, Screwed it up. Shall not elaborate, it's not very interesting anyway. HAHAH. I shall just prepare to go for... Photography? HAHA. Or Women's soccer?! AHAHA

Had a small session with some dancers after our audition and I made new friends!!! =D REALLY GLAD TO MAKE FRIENDS SO EASILY! =D THE GUYS ARE REALLY NICE!! Hope to see them in school more often. Haha. Okay, I tried to do "stunts" and... KINDA failed =S And there was one time where I crashed. So... Say "Hi" to 3 new OH BA KATs? Haha. Luckily I didn't break my cheek bones or something!! I GOT A SHOCK MAN LOL. Though it hurts but, LUCKILY NOT DISFIGURED.

Went to meet the girls at Starbucks and "Studied" there for a while. Headed over to Bedok85 to have dinner. They were eating Stingray, Kang Kong, Hokkien Mee, Ba Chor Mee. And I had to eat PORRIDGE. Went to the playground to play for a while before going home. Had to cab home because there was no bus.

Random :
1 : Papa and Mummy are not happy with me coming home late so often for the past few weeks. =( They keep telling me to study.
2 : STUPID blogger just deleted half of my post. So now, I'm trying to recap what I wrote.
3 : I just told LJing that I was scared of this guy but now I think that he is very nice and friendly! =D Even though I just got to know him, but he is already encouraging me and helping me to overcome my shyness to dance =D
4 : I think all this dieting is making my temper really hot. =S I seem to be unhappy everyday.
5 : There is always this time in the day when you will start thinking of things that you've said, things that you've done. And all you want to do, is just turn back time and change everything.
6 : I realised that I'm a "Rojak" Dancer. Yup, that is what I name myself. A lot of people asked me yesterday "What is your genre?" Then I'll go.. "Eh, I dance Latin, Hip Hop and Modern". Then... "What is your best?" Me : "I don't know."
7 : I'm not happy dieting.
8 : I better start going home early to do my work and study.

Presenting to you, MY CLASS 1H06

2010-04-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

3 days of school have past.

Lessons were not that interesting and fun but.. Well.. I have to study hard and do well in it! =D My timetable is making me F.A.T! Breaks breaks and MORE breaks!! =( I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET FAT!! Better cut my diet by HALF again. Arghh. It's only the 3rd day of school and I L.O.V.E TP's LIB TO THE MAX =D The best place ever! HAHA.

Signed up for Dance audition today. MY GOODNESS. Stressed like SHIT. I signed up for both Modern and Hiphop. I'll be upset if I don't get into either but... I HAVE THIS REALLY STRONG FEELING THAT I WON'T GET INTO BOTH. Stupid me!! Listening to music now to train freestyle. =S I look like I'm clubbing by myself in my room. Haha.

I LIKE MY CLASS NOW =D They seem quite nice. But Ya... Like I mentioned, there are only 5 boys and I click with... NONE OF THEM. 4 smokers in my class. It's NOT that I don't like them but.. I don't know? Must they let us know SO openly that they smoke? And they think that it's COOL! WTH, smoke STINKS! And I don't want to get lung cancer. I'll rather die a peaceful death. haha.But the girls in my class seems nice to talk to =D

THANK YOU JONAS YEO for teaching us some dance techniques today. Thanks for helping us prepare for TPDE's audition. GO ESTHER GO!! GO GO GO! HEHE. Must mark the dates down on my calendarsssss. I'm like SUPER forgetful.

Tml is gonna be a L.O.N.G DAY =( I'm tiredddddd

I'm really hurt

2010-04-19T08:32:00.001-07:00

First day of school. 19 April 2010

Well, first day of school was alright. Nothing special. HAHA But.. school just didn't feel like school. I don't know why. Lessons were kinda boring. Blah. Gonna make this a short post because I still have homework to complete! haha. Yup, first day of school and I already have homework. I don't know why.. But it feels like I don't have time at all?! HAHA. I was busy slacking maybe? Reached home at around 10pm and now, I have to rush through my homework. Better come home earlier next time!! Study mood, please come back.

I don't know why, but I seem to be REALLY tired every day! No idea why. =S I feel like bringing my bagpack to school! My shoulder is REALLY going to break if I continue bringing my normal "going out" bags. Haha. Depends on the lessons la. Feel like bringing my cam to school too! =D Am bringing it tml.

NAS PEEPS please give me your timetables =D Thanks. HAHAHA.

<3 Julinethepig HAHA because she came to TP to accompany Aud and I today =D Even though it was just... half an hour? But every second was worthwhile =D LOVELOVE

K! BACK TO STUDYING =D

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

2010-04-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

Day 2

Being with the class today was better than yesterday =D Hehe. Am kinda glad that I can fit in. =D I'M THE ASSISTANT CLASS REP =D YIPPIE. Haha. Good start to be apart of the class. I can't stand not being "Enthu". It's just not me. Sat under the SUN to have lunch + Cheer = SUN BURN + HOT + TIRED + I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL!! =(

Went to meet the NAS people after that. BUSINESS SCHOOL WON FOR THE 6TH CONSECUTIVE TIME!! BIZ BIZ BIZ BIZ NESS *Claps* HEHE.

Whenever I'm with the NAS people. I'm T.O.T.A.L.L.Y DIFFERENT. Haha. I do things that I don't expect myself to do, especially when I'm HIGH! Please be careful of me HEHE. At first I thought that I was okay, quite high in my class already. But when I went to meet the NAS peeps, I was proven WRONG. I was still FAR from being high. HAHA. Well, it takes time ya? =D

My timetable SUCKS. Haha. I have like 3 hour breaks, 2 hour breaks. 1 hour breaks. Somedays, I only need to go to school for... 2-3 hours? HAHA. Well, this is Poly =D
CAN'T WAIT TO STUDY! GONNA AIM TO BE THE TOP 10% OF MY COURSE!! KAMBATEH! I CAN DO IT! I MUST!!

Sentosa MASS FO gathering tml. Gonna meet the girls after that. OH MY GEE! MISS THEM MUCH?! <3 <3

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Gonna prepare my dance for TPDE Audition. I realised that I'm nothing without dance. So... I'M GONNA DO MY BEST! Even if I don't get it, at least I did my best. I won't regret it. BUT that is IF I did my best. I still can't overcome my shyness on stage. =( I'm can only PERFORM on stage when I'm with a group =( Still can't do it alone. HAIZ. After all the training that I've been through. I'm PATHETIC.

Orientation

2010-04-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

Day 1

Went to school with Huiwen and waited for the rest to come. Got splited up into our courses and I was alone. The girl beside me was FREAKING quiet. I want to cheer also feel very Paiseh. Went for this "cheerleading" thing and got kicked out. Haha. What a disgrace I am to NAS Dance + Shawn and Gladys Danceworld. + Miss Jane =( I'm sorry!

So... went to have lunch with my class people and had mass dance + some other cheer dance. Shall not elaborate on Mass dance if not I'll feel guilty which will make the SAD DAY I had, WORSE.

My class is... okay. 4 guys 18 girls ( If I'm not wrong ) NO OFFENCE, but the guys are not exactly handsome and attractive. I'll go back to my "Husband" or "Boyfriend" ANYTIME. haha. But one of them looks okay la =D Haha. And he's personality seems good too.

Dinner with NAS peeps. And I just TOTALLY changed my character. I was like quiet, shy when I'm with my class. But when I went with the NAS peeps. I just couldn't stop talking and laughing. <3 <3

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Random :

1 : KAI WEN IS REALLY MY FAV!! HAHAHA. he took my class for some games thing today and he was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO entertaining!! Never get bored with him!

2 : I got my LAPPIE back =D Yippie!! NO MORE PUNY SCREEN =D I LOVE MY LAPPIE AGAIN! SO NICE TO TYPE! HEHE.

3 : Is it normal to feel SUPER guilty everytime after eating? =S

4 : GONNA SLEEP EARLY!!!! FINALLY =D AFTER SO MANY MONTHS!

2010-04-12T08:32:00.001-07:00

Random:

1 : I NEED TO GO TO WATSONS TO GET WHITENING CREAM ASAP!

Me : *Going up the stairs but stopped halfway and stretched (HAHA. My whole house is my stretching bar) to watch a part of a drama*

Korkor : Esther... You're so tan.. I can't help but think that you're a Mongolian.

Me : *Speechless*

MY GOODNESS!! I BETTER MAKE MYSELF WHITE AGAIN!!!!!! =(

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2 : An sms yesterday + Night jogging = Got me thinking. I should accept myself for who I am. Everyone has something and don't have something. Though the girls are all "Perfect" to me. But I have GOD which they don't. With that, I'm very blessed. =D

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3 : I REGRET NOT BEING ENTHU IN CAMP!!! I'M LIKE A NOBODY. HAHAHA EVEN THOUGH I AGREED WITH LR'S SIGNATURE STATEMENT " I just want to be a Nobody and enjoy my camp " BUT NOW.... When I see all the Novirs commenting on FB, saying that they miss the camp, miss the GLs, SCREAMING all our cheers. =( I want to be a SOMEBODY now. I feel SOOOOO left out now =( Sobsobsob.

Regret regret regret

TP FOC

2010-04-11T01:08:00.000-07:00

TP FOC.

Camp was... Alright, I guess. Haha. The first day was seriously boring. Got split up into our individual empires and LR Aud HY and I were in the same empire. But only HY was in my Sup-Empire. Didn't manage to mix with the girls because we... Just don't click!! =( HAHA. I bet that they must be thinking that I'm some loner. Ah whatever. HAHA. Guys seem so much easier to talk to. But.. I'm a girl! LOL. So I at least need to have a group of girl friends right? ( Besides my clique now ) And I really really dislike this girl from my sup empire. Everytime I see her, I just feel like boxing her! ( box box ) She just PMO!

Day 2 was better =D We managed to complete our race at a faster pace =D LOVE the mass dance =D HEHEHE. Okay la, maybe it was because of my partner that's why it was so fun!!! =D Luckily I ran behind to find Aud, if not, I wouldn't have partnered that GL =D Hehe. He is REALLY nice and funny!!! Performance prep was horrible. Shall not elaborate. 32 secs of "Nobody" = Boring. "Nobody" is like a... 3 year old song?! Jam and Hop was okay. Haha. I got high! I seriously get randomly HIGH sometimes =D Yay me! HEHE.

Day 3
WATER GAMES!!! I LOVED THE WATER GAMES! But the weather was... HORRIBLE? HAHA. It was water games day and it rained. =.= And it was so windy!! Kept sneezing ( Bless me ). Then after that, when we needed to go to the field to play this empire by empire game, it was FREAKING hot! GO NOVIR =D After that was quite boring. Shall not elaborate on that too. Haha.

Went to Tampines (somewhere) to have dinner with the NAS peeps =D LOVE THEM TO THE MAX!!!! I can just become a different person when I'm with them. I don't know why. It really amazes me how different I can be when I'm with different groups of people. NAS = HIGH. TP = LOW =( HAHA. No la.. Actually once someone mentions "KPOP" I'll go high! HAHAHA. Seriously. Kk.. Went to the Playground after that and PLAYED =D LOVEDDDD IT! HEHEHE. Then.. HOME SWEEEEEEET HOME.

Random =D

1 : I L.O.V.E. my GLs! They are the BEST =D I have been talking ALL day long with my GLs instead of the people in my empire. HAHA. There are many in my empire who I don't even know and can't even recognise.

2 : I FOUND AN EYE CANDY! FREAKING HANDSOME OR SHOULD I SAY PRETTY?! AHHHH!! GOING CRAZY!! He kinda reminds me of dearest JaeJoong. HEHEH. Shy shy kind. AWW!! But I really dislike myself going crazy over a shy guy because that makes me seem SUPER, ULTRA DESPO. =( But I'm ugly what, no choice but to be despo. HAHA.

3 : The cheers are ringing in my head now AFTER the camp. HAHA. Thanks man.
~ Xiao bai xiao baiiiiiiiii ~
~ LO MAI GAI ~
N.O.V.I.R NOVIR.

4 : Kinda scared for coming week's camp!! =( REASON : I can't even click with the people from different courses in my empire for 3 DAYS. Then... HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO CLICK WITH THE PEOPLE IN MY COURSE IN 2 DAYS?! =( I wanna be a guy. Haha. Guys seems to click SOOO much more easily.

5 : I got a NEW DANCE IDOL =D PRESENTING KETSU'S GL - KAI WEN. HAHAHA. Why didn't they put me into Ketsu =( Then I can see my Eye candy everyday.

6 : Kinda miss my GLs now =D

With all my heart

2010-04-05T06:38:00.000-07:00

I still haven't gotten over my DBSK =( But well.. Just read an article and I agree with what the person wrote. I should be happy for them now, because they can do their solo activities. But everytime I hear "DBSK to stop activities" it just pierced my heart. But, I will wait, for as long as I live. There will always be a possibility that they will come back together as ONE TVXQ.

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Went to see a nutritionist today. =S Papa and Mummy said that I HAVE to control my diet. So... I have to forgo MANY MANY THINGS =(

1 : MILO!!!!! I'm gonna die! I was just thinking yesterday, if the nutritionist ask me to forgo my milo, I MIGHT DIE! MILO!!!!!! =( It's like... my MUST-HAVE everyday =(
2 : Sausage! =( No more home cooked udon with sausage already.
3 : Banana. =(
4 : FRUIT JUICES
5 : Pokka Green Tea =(

I think these are my few MAJOR forgos =( And I have to record everything that I eat down. It's difficult.. but.. I HAVE TO DO IT.

Say Hello to :
1 : VEGETABLES!
2 : APPLES. ( I like it! So I'm fine with apples =D )
3 : NO CARBS
4 : 8 cups of water a day

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I WANNA DANCE! Lol. So deprived. Gonna enquire about the studio again. Miss Hazima is not getting back to me!! =( Never Mind, cannot rush her. Haha, bet she's busy too. Gonna wait for LJing to come back from Hk then discuss the dance chereo with him and Candice.

I REALLY FEEL LIKE USING MIROTIC! And dedicate it to my beloved Dong Bang. How's it?!! =D

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Oh I forgot to mention.
PAPA BOUGHT A NEW CAMERA TODAY!! =D I WENT WITH HIM TO GET IT!! YIPPIE YIPPIE. But I'm not sure if he'll let me bring it out or not.. Well.. Look at my camera's current state. =S But this new one seems REALLY GOOD! "Canon" ma.. MADE IN JAPAN =D I can't emphasise how biased I am towards Japan products. Haha. The main purpose we bought the camera because of Korkor's POP this thurs WHICH, I can't attend because of orientation and because they only allow 2 visitors. Which is obviously Papa and Mummy. Still can't wait to use the cam!! =D Let's PRAY that it would not spoil in my hands.

All my things seems to SPOIL VERY QUICKLY AND OFTEN. Gonna send my lappie for some stupid servicing already. SEE! I think I have some "Devil hands" ? I spoil everything I touch. My lappie just SHUTS DOWN AND RESTARTS AUTOMATICALLY. When I'm just leaving it alone somemore. =.= Then when I looked at the back of my lappie, I see something!!!!!!!

MADE IN CHINA.

HAHAHAHA.

DBSK to stop activities

2010-04-04T07:06:00.000-07:00

Really really really upset.
Since yesterday.

DBSK to stop activities and pursue their own dreams.

It pierced my heart when I read it yesterday night. This is not happening. My biggest fear. That's it? That's the end of DBSK? After all they've gone through? Just because of SME, just because of some misunderstanding? How can you guys do this to us?! Though it's good that you guys will be pursuing your own dreams but... this is just too much for me to handle =(

Tears are not enough to describe my feelings.

But! As long as AVEX and SME haven't officially announce the disbandment.
I'LL AWAYS KEEPT MY FAITH. HOPE TO THE END.

This is the first time I have an "Idol" and this is how it turns out. Woah.

2010-04-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Okay. I'm gonna make this post a short one. Shall not post about today because I'm like REALLY REALLY tired! Headache + Feel like vomiting + My head seems to have that expanding effect?

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Random Thoughts:
Every time when I just start day dreaming, I'll always feel miserable. My Life, is miserable. Why? Few reasons,
1 : I'm FAT
2 : I'm ugly
3 : I'm FAT & UGLY
4 : Nothing good seems to be happening.
5 : I can't eat my favourite foods!
6 : I seriously SERIOUSLY lack discipline.
7 : I hate myself for being me.

I really hate it when I can't eat my favourite food. =( I LOVE to eat. Eating is something I do to relax! But now, eating is the MOST horrible thing in my life. I have to control it. Make sure it's not fatty or oily or deep fried , make sure it's not a big portion, only allowed to eat till 50% full, force myself to sleep even though my stomach is growling really loudly. Start trying to make myself vomit every time I feel full because I'm NOT suppose to be full.

Why am I living life this way? While others out there are enjoying. Eating, eating, eating eating eating ALL THEY LIKE! And they don't grow FAT! WHY IS LIFE SOO UNFAIR? WHY IS MY LIFE SO MISERABLE?! FOR SOMEONE WHO REALLY WANTS TO SLIM DOWN. WHY MUST I HAVE SUCH BODY STRUCTURE? WHY DO I GAIN WEIGHT SOOO EASILY BUT IT'S SOO DIFFICULT TO LOSE IT?! I'm seriously getting SICK and TIRED of my life. I'm really SICK of it. I did mention to the girls before that if I'm really really fat, I might just commit suicide. I think I'm really serious about it. If I hit XX, I think I'll just go jump. Oh wait, no, I'll create an Earthquake. I'll just slash my wrist or something. Or I could fly to Korea for Lipo!! =D Seriously, am saving up XXXX for the treatment.

Because I'm sick of living a FAT and UGLY life.
I give up.
This, IS life

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I SERIOUSLY HATE PLANNING OUTINGS NOW.
1 : People just DON'T/CAN'T REPLY YOUR SMSES!! WHICH PISSES ME OFF BADLY!!
2 : People like to ask " Who going? " WHEN THE OTHERS DON'T REPLY MY SMSES!
3 : One of the phrase that I dislike "See first" , "See who going first"
4 : People who WANTS the outing, can't make it in the end!
5 : It's ALWAYS, I repeat.. A.L.W.A.Y.S not successful!!!
6 : I get excited for NOTHING. Which I really hate, because I want to be excited for things! I means that my day is going to be FUN. My life is already miserable enough, let me have some fun please!

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I REALLY WANT TO MARRY JAEJOONG!! HAHAHA
REALLY REALLY REALLY!! MY GOSH!
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE 7 YEARS DIFF LA! IT'S ONLY 7 YEARS!!
HAHA AND WELL, it's scientifically proven that
male's brain develops slower than females, in terms of maturity. SO.... if I add and minus a little here and there. JaeJoong's age is GREAT =D Mature YET a little childish. WO DE MA AH! I CAN'T STOP DREAMING CAN I?!

2010-04-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

Okay. This is REALLY stupid.
I just quarrelled with Bel over Miley Cyrus. That's like... FREAKING CHILDISH? Somemore it's for Miley Cyrus. Yucks. Okay. Whatever. Bel's a fan while I'm an ANTI FAN. So.. I'm not going to talk to her ANYTHING about Miley ANYMORE. Seriously, the thought of Miley makes me angry. ARGHH!! However, thanks to all the Kpop, I've been out of the US world for a while and it has been a LONG time since I heard news of Miley ( which is a good thing ) Then Bel came talking to me about her. ARGHH. If it's something bad then I'm okay, but something good?! AH WHATEVER, I don't care about her already.

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Good Friday tml! Am going to church! =D Then go shopping with my dearest mummy! Am meeting the girls in the evening for "Kidnapper" =D
Juline, please remind me that you want my "A walk to remember", which reminds me, I HAVEN'T BEEN READING! SHIT! I NEED TO READ READ READ!

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Have been thinking of the songs to use for NgeeAnnTapestry =D EXCITED much? Hehe. Was thinking of doing something REALLY different. Because the juniors will be dancing, somemore it's chereographed by MissJane!! And I, as her student, cannot disappoint her & my fellow Juniors!

NAS Dance Alumni, LET'S DANCE! =D

Was just thinking... I WOULD L.O.V.E TO ADD MIROTIC INSIDE!!! HAHAHAHAHAH. That is... if it's actually possible to learn the dance la. HAHA.
Just completed "Run Devil Run" If only I could learn DBSK's dances like how I did for all the SNSD's. =(

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I NEED MONEY! HHAHAHA. I still haven't gotten SOO many things!! Still not that ready for Poly yet! BUT, I still have 2 weeks before Poly OFFICIALLY starts! CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES I NEED YOU =D

2010-04-01T00:44:00.000-07:00

I'm currently not in a good mood at all. =(
Came back from shopping yesterday being all happy and carefree. Then I got more orders for my business =D Was very happy. Then I wanted to go order already then OOS.

I hate things to be OOS because the customers will start complaining and stuff. I HATE it. Decided to close my business already. Bye blogshop.

2010-03-28T23:43:00.000-07:00

I suddenly feel like persuing the dance path. It's not going to be easy AT ALL. Miss Jane did tell me about it. But... I just feel like doing something that I like when I grow up. I don't want to go to work every day feeling so sick and tired of life. I want to look forward to everyday at work next time. But it's highly impossible... =( I'll just see how it goes with Hospitality and Tourism. Which reminds me...

I CAN'T WAIT TO START SCHOOL!

The world of freedom.

2010-03-28T00:32:00.001-07:00

26 March

Went out with Huiwen this afternoon to TP to hand up some form. But I got to hand it up again since I have to let my father sign ANOTHER form. HAHAH. Okay. So.... from the time I stepped out of my house, I've been thinking about what every one think about me and the ONLY word that came into my mind is... " PROSTITUTE " hahahah. We were suppose to look older than our actual age because we were trying to get into a pub so... I dressed very differently from how I normally do. and ALL I could think of was either I look like an A LIAN or A PROSTITUTE. So I kept whining and whining and wanted to drag her back home so that I could CHANGE! hahah.

Okay... After we got to Orchard to get some things and to satisfy her CRAVING for Wanton Mee. We headed HOME. haha and I got to CHANGE!! HAPPY HAPPY ME! Was feeling REALLY tired but had to drag myself out. Haha. Took bus down to CQ with Huiwen and Ada. I TOLERATED MY PEE FOR THE WHOLE BUS RIDE! MY GOODNESS! 27 ++ BUS STOPS! Went to meet LJing WeiHao Ernest XiangHao and headed over to the Pub. And despite the opportunity that I got , to change , Weihao and LJing said I looked WEIRD! Thanks man! After I got all my confidence , of not being a prostitute , back.

LOVE MY DRINK =D "Sex in the beach" HAHAHA. Sounds weird and wrong but I loved it =D Taste like FRUIT PUNCH! HAHAHA. I pity Ada and Huiwen for their "Bloody Mary aka Tomato Soup with celery" and "Cherry Vodka aka Running Nose medicine". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. okay.. I somehow am craving for the Pizza that we ate. I THINK THAT IT'S REALLY NICE! HAHAHAHA. But super not worth it.

Walked and walked around... was planning to take a bus home till we went to Burger King to get a drink. Shall not elaborate more about Burger King. HAHA. Agree 100% with Ada about her lessons learnt! =D But like what she said, I was really thankful that it didn't turn out THAT bad. Haha ANDAND to find a boyfriend that will help you, especially when you're kinda in trouble. I'm gonna break up with one that just keeps quiet and let you get all the trouble, USELESS BOYFRIEND! Haha.

Reached home at 12.30am and went to sleep straight away. Was SUPER tired.

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27 March

Passed Leslie his "Run Devil Run" and he seems to LOVE it so much! Haha. Seriously. Finally had a meal with my family =D Exercised and was TOTALLY unaware of the "Save the Earth" thing till Ada told me. HAHA.

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28 March

Didn't go for Cell Group today because I was feeling really scared. People might not know but... I'm not those that are friendly to strangers. Though I do do many things by myself like dancing, learning Japanese, but for this kind of activities, I don't like to be alone. I want at least someone to be with me to accompany me. =(

Had Prawn Mee for lunch and finish watching "Forbidden Love". A really sad and touching story. Didn't cry though. HAHA. I've became STRONGER =D The show was produced in... 1999?! HAHA. More than 10 years old already. A teacher and student relationship story. Gonna exercise later =D (hopefully) SUCH A HOT DAY TODAY!!

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Loving someone is not keeping that person beside you.
Loving someone is letting him/her go
and seeing that person leave in front of you.
That's love.

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An old song which I believe MANY of you know of it.

First Love - Utada Hikaru
( Theme Song for "Forbidden Love" )

Once in a while
You are in my mind
I think about the days that we had
And i dream that these would all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
How I want here to be with you
Once more

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one in my life
So true, I believe i can never find
Somebody like you
my first love

Once in awhile
Your are in my dreams
I can feel the warmth of your embrace
And I pray that it will all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
And how I want here to be with you
Once more
yah yah yah

You will always be inside my heart
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Please don't say no
Now and forever you are still the one
In my heart
So true, I believe I could never find
Somebody like you
My first love
oh oh

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one
So true, I believe I could never find
Now and forever

2010-03-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

I OFFICIALLY BROKE MY RECORD! MY GOODNESS! EVEN I COULDN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY BROKE MY RECORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

THE BEST EVER EVER DOCTOR DRAMA THAT I'VE EVER WATCHED! BEST BEST BEST!! I FINISHED THE DRAMA ( 11 EPS ) IN ONE DAY! ONE DAY!!!! MY GOODNESS!!!

IT'S SERIOUSLY DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NICE! THE MUSIC WAS PERFECT TOO! MADE ME WANT TO CRY! And it's not the ordinary doctor show that I watched! THIS SHOW IS PLAIN AWESOME!

There is ALOT of politics in this show though. Made me wanna strangle the idiotic, disgusting professors. GLAD THAT THEY GOT WHAT THEY DESERVED!

A.W.E.S.O.M.E SHOW! SERIOUSLY AWESOME

Dangerous Love

2010-03-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

Huiwen FAILED to obey her own rule : I'm not going to be late next time.
Haha. SHE WAS LATE FOR 1 HOUR PLUS! hahah. But it's okay. Finished Jap class at 1pm today and went to get my pedi done. Ate Chicken Rice ALONE! ( WHOSE FAULT?! ) The chicken rice was AWESOME! =D haha. One of my TOP 2 chicken rice. It's a MUST have when I go to FEP. 3rd time eating it and still LOVE it =D At least it doesn't leave the smelly breath in my mouth, not like the chicken rice in NAS. HAHA. Zy knows it, everytime after I eat NAS's Chicken Rice, I'll ask her, DO I HAVE BAD BREATH?! hahahaha. Then I'll start drinking water to get rid of that smell.

Went to MUJI and Huiwen came to meet me =D Bought stationeries and necessities for school! YEAH!! HAHHA. Went to Sephora = SPENT MONEY. FEP = SPENT MONEY. I finally bought the loafers that I eyed since last year! I still remembered I was with ZY shopping for Christmas? or Prom? HAHAHA. She got hers last year but I didn't - cause I didn't feel like spending any more money on that day. SOOO. Today, after I got my pedi done. I FINALLY BOUGHT IT! HAHAHAHAHA. It was SUPER DUPER FAST. I went in and like " Oh, found it. Eh do you have size - " HAHAHA. My feet is HUGE! Then tried it on, and said "okay" HAHAHA. But I couldn't find any other NICE loafers! Besides the one I just got =D And We, Poly students NEED more clothes, shoes, bags and every other thing MORE than JC students =D HEHE.

Ate KFC for dinner =( PLEASE SLAP ME! NEXT TIME, WHENEVER I GO OUT WITH HUIWEN, I CANNOT BRING ANY CASH AROUND! Or maybe... $5 for drinks only! HOW COULD I HAVE EATEN KFC?! IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOOO AGAINST MY DIET! MY GOODNESS I REALLY FEEL LIKE VOMITING IT OUT NOW! STUPID POPCORN CHICKEN!

Well... HAHA. I think Huiwen and I are not meant to go out together! HAHAHA. She will make me EAT! And just now after the meal I said " I saw this dress blah blah blah " So we went to FEP to shop AND SHE BOUGHT A DRESS!! WHEN SHE WASN'T SUPPOSE TO SPEND! NEITHER WAS I! HAHAHAHA. She'll influence me to buy and I'll influence her! HAHAHA. So... after the WHOLE day, we're quits! HEHEHE. hahah

Went home and PLANNED TO JOG! BUT STUPID! I just felt like clearing my room and sit on my chair! ANOTHER SLAP FOR ME PLEASE! GONNA JOG 10KM TML! HAHAHAHAHAHAH. From my house to big splash and back!

----------------------

My mobile Twitter is NOT working. =( I wanted to say...
Random : I was walking at Orchard and started smiling to myself because I thought of a DBSK movie that I watched yesterday! HAHAHA.

Seriously! I JUST SUDDENLY SMILED AT MYSELF. And... IT'S A SMILE WITH MY TEETH VISIBLE! AND... it happened more than once today =S I think it was thrice? HAHAHA.

The movie was a little scary at parts and.. I was thinking about it when I was about to sleep! HAHAHA. Which is bad! Seems like I have not conquered my fear of horror movies =(

PLEASE WATCH =D

* YUNJAE MOMENTS =D How I wish Yunho was me! =( HAHAHA.
* Some bonus dance moves
* JAEJOONG LOOKS DAMN CUTE AND HOT WHEN HE IS SLEEPING! Actually.. WHATEVER that he does is CUTE AND HOT!

Burn the floor

2010-03-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

I was just watching "Burn the floor" By Floor Play and... IT MADE ME WANT TO DANCE! LIKE NOW! ON THE SPOT! I watched this performance in the esplanade a few years back. When I just started Latin Dance. I couldn't remember how I felt while watching it then. But NOW, when I just went back to watch it! I WAS... CAPTIVATED! AMAZED! THOSE HIPS, THOSE ENERGY, THOSE FEELINGS, THE SHARPNESS OF THE MOVEMENTS. Those are things that I dreamt of doing but couldn't fulfill it. I "gave up" Latin dance because I couldn't find a Male Partner. And for Latin dance, there is NO HOPE at all if you can't even get a partner.

Suddenly, it got me thinking again. Maybe the RIGHT time for me to get a partner isn't here yet? Maybe I'll meet someone in Poly who is interested in Latin dance? Or maybe he even had a background of dance? You never know what is going to happen in the future. So for now, I'll just pray to GOD to bless me with a partner whom I can feel comfortable with and whom I can put my trust on. =D Someone who is able to lead me when I can't see, someone who is able to just carry me through the dance without me being worried and thinking about anything.

I love you when I saw you, touched you, felt you

2010-03-22T05:43:00.000-07:00

Today was a SLACKK day =D Haha. Woke up at 7am and went jogging. Papa got very shocked when he saw me awake. This shows how high the possibility it is for me to fail to jog in the morning. HAHA.

Lunched --> Watched TV --> PP --> Watched TV --> Dinner --> Watched TV --> NOW! haha. Felt really lazy and fat so did hola hoops. HAHA.

Random :
1 : MY HANDS ARE REALLLY REALLY DRY RIGHT NOW!! I CAN'T STAND IT! I have not gotten DRY hands before! Wonder what's the cause of it because no matter how much moisturizer I put.. It's STILL THE SAME!! =( It's like really ugly and rough now! DISGUSTING!!

2 : Was just talking about my Ideal type with Zy the other day. And came across quite a handful number of KPOP stars talking about their Ideal types. Haha. Then I was just thinking to myself.. What is my Ideal type of guy and...... JAEJOONG just came into my mind =D HAHAHA.

Soothing Voice, Mesmerising Eyes, Cute personalitity, Likes to laugh =D A LOT!, Jokes around, Act like a kid = Childish =D , A bit naughty = Bad boy , Musically Inclined, Dances!!!! <33, Humble =D, Don't get angry easily , Gentle , 1.8M. Who will NOT like him?! HAHA.

3 : MY APPETTITE IS GETTING H.U.G.E!!!! SERIOUSLY H.U.G.E!! OH MY GOODNESS! =( I WAS FEELING HUNGRY A LOT TODAY!!!! Woke up and ate a slice of bread, went jogging, lunch(half a bowl of rice!!!!!!!), PP-ed , Apples, Dinner ( 1/4 bowl of rice!!!) I COULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF THERE!!!! ALL THOSE CARBS!

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Just when my appettite became lesser! NOW IT'S BACK =(

In HIS time

2010-03-21T02:09:00.001-07:00

Woah! I haven't been blogging properly for a while. HAHA.

Okay... let's turn back time.

16 March :

Outing with JOYCEY LOVE! =D She was late! =( HAHAHA. Went to Marina Square to get a birthday present then headed over to Sakae Sushi to have dinner. =D We just stayed there and TALKED. I felt SOOO full! I don't like that feeling cause I tend to make myself vomit to get rid of that irritating feeling. Took a few pictures =D And headed back home at around 8 plus 9!

Miss her SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. I'm glad that we managed to meet up!! =D Hehe. I got nothing to update her because my school haven't started! So... She was the one talking and updating me! HAHAHA. Let's wait till I start school! =D I'll spam her with news of different eye candy and handsome guys. HAHAHA.

17 March : Work

18 March : Last day of work. I really LOVED the times I had while working there. I really appreciate how the people there treated me =D They made me feel comfortable there even though I'm not..
1: Their age group
2: Their communication group? HAHA I don't usually speak Chinese but I have to speak Chinese when I'm there because they don't speak English
I'm really thankful for their nice treatment to me =D
Was really glad when Cat san gave me "Peach ice cream" because I LOVED THAT!! AWESOMENESS! Really thankful to the Chef because he made Tempura Ice cream for me when I told him that I loved that ice cream. I will definitely go back some day again to eat and visit them =D Shall ask ZY to accompany me there. HEHE.

19 March : Had Class lunch at Pasta Mania. Though there were only 6 people but.. at least we met up. I almost just wanted to cancel the whole outing because I couldn't take it. So many people saying : Can make it ... ? I cannot make it. I see how first. ABCDEFG!! AND PEOPLE WHO ASKED ME TO ORGANISE THE OUTING COULDN'T COME!! Then when I said " Okay never mind, cancelled." then people go "HUH SERIOUS?" WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?!! So.. I just made it on Friday and Sat. No planning to organise an outing again. I'll pass the HUGE responsibility to Calvin or Liang Deng. HAHAHA.

Nigel's birthday party at night. That was the cause of my insomnia. Because ADA COULD NOT STOPPPP SINGING THE SAME OLD SONG!!! lol. It was practically ringing in my head at night. Haha.

20 March : Woke up at 7am to go to NAS DANCE!! =D LJing was LATE! So I waited for him at the bus stop. There were having a dance camp. Our yearssssssssssss didn't have it =( Well. Glad to see them improve and came up with a group routine in 2 and a half hours!!! In that time, LJing and I just had some... own cheoreo for fun! HAHAHA. It was IN CASE they asked us to perform. It's better to be prepared then get embarassed ma! Became a Judge for the competition and it felt SOOOOOOOOO GOOD! HAHAHA. JUDGE LEH!!!! Okay. Well. I don't know why but when it comes to dancing, I'm quite strict, with myself and with others. No idea why. Haha. Left at 12.45pm ( which is the reason why I was late for class lunch! SORRY PEEPS ) But at least I wasn't the latest =D HAHAHA. Thank GOD for the buses to arrive SO quickly. Thanks LJing for accompanying me to take Bus 12 =D Though you were sleeping throughout the ride. HAHA

Had Class Lunch again but it's with a different group of people. In the end, 4 couldn't turn up. Haiz. Never mind. We went to Waraku ECP to eat =D SAW MY EYE CANDY! MY GOODNESS I CAN FAINT!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Don't believe? Ask ZY. HAHAHA. Because after we left, I was practically smiling to myself every now and then. Reason being : Before we left, he smiled at me with this.... super cute smile. HAHAHA. Then my manager saw and said " Esther, down here got people an lian ni leh " AHAHAHAHAHAHAH FAINTS! EYE CANDYYYYY HEHEHEHE.

Headed over to PP after that and LD bought his attire for Europe trip. His fashion stylist (ahem ahem) was there to help him! HAHAHA. Went home after that and didn't eat dinner. I vomitted after drinking something. HAHA.

P.S I don't like people who STILL piss me off when I'm already pissed off and think that I'm not pissed off and try to PISS me off. CAN'T THEY SEE THAT I'M ACTUALLY REALLY PISSED OFF?! It's NOT funny to try and piss me off when I already am! ( Sorry, I have very limited vocabulary )

21 March :

Went for a new cellgroup today. Was quite scared. Haha. But.. it was okay. What the cell group leader shared was very true. Every thing has a season for it. Things happen at A SPECIFIC time for a reason. If you want something really badly, but it's just not the time for it. GOD has a plan for us, he knows when is the right time for everything. And some of the cell group members shared their experiences =D

----------------------------

Random :
1 : I think it's REALLY impossible to lose weight because of my bone structure =( SOOO UPSETTING!!! Why must I inherit big bone structure from my dad's side!! =(

2 : I have a NEW ASPIRATION! =D To WORK HARD IN DANCE and be able to dance with Korean pop stars! I'm SERIOUS! I want to be a back up dancer for them and if I become more famous. I'll hold my OWN DANCE CONCERT =D GONNA STUDY DANCE instead of taking it as just leisure and a hobby. Obviously, my biggest wish is to be a back up dancer for DBSK because apparently, I have not seen them using a female dancer before.

3 : I told Calvin they all that I feel like killing myself sometimes for being so fat and I still am thinking of it. It's really what I feel everytime I look into the mirror. Everytime when I look at others and say " Why can't I be like them? Why can't I be skinny? Why must I be SO FAT? "

Run Devil Run

2010-03-19T09:58:00.000-07:00

OKAY!ADA JUST POSTED ON MY BLOG USING HER PHONE. AHHAAHA..

Okay... I want to sleep first.. WILL BLOG AGAIN. HAHAHAHAHA

GONNA GO VISIT NAS DANCEEEEEE TML =D YIPPIE

MRS LAMBERT WAS HERE!

2010-03-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hi readers of esther the cutiieeeee!! Hahaha i'm Ada Lee, erm mrs lambert you can call me... And Esther used my phone to sign in blogger, and didn't sign out, so i'm using her account, do her a favour, blog for her!! Omg i'm so nice and!!!!!!! She'll love me so much for helping her right esther??? :) hahahah yeah so bye, omgomgomg Jaejoong esther, jaejoong in my house...... :) just kidding it's adam :) hahahahah
BYE

2010-03-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

16 march
outing with joyce!!!!!! So glad that i managed to meet up with her

Okay.. I'm typing this post with ada's phone and am currently struggling with it so..haha i will post more later t

SHINee

2010-03-14T07:36:00.001-07:00

WOW! I SAW SHINee!! I SAW RING DING DONG / JOJO / REPLAY... L.I.V.E! =D HAPPY HAPPY ME! HEHEHEHHEE. So.. met Korkor's friends at NY NY and ate dinner there. Headed down to Marina Bay Float to get the seats and we were not very near the stage so.... When SHINee was about to appear we RANNNNNNNNN down to the front there to take pictures! HAHA. Went back to sit down for the rest of the time. I feel bad to the other artistes BECAUSE...

* Artist performing, Me talking, everyone else talking * Maybe except for JJ Lin and Xiao Gui.
Scream level.... 1 / 10, cheer level 2 / 10, clap level 3 / 10.

When SHINee ( haven't appeared yet ) SCREAMS/SHOUTS/WHISTLES 20/10. Clap level 0/10. HAHAHA!! Who would bother to clap?! Faints faints faints! KEY ONEW OPPA!!! TAE MIN!! JONG HYUN MINHO OPPA!! My goodness! Andand.. We got scolded for sitting down at the stairs there to wait for SHINee to appear and they asked us to go back to our seats. But when SHINee appeared, everyone just RUSHED to the front to video/ take pictures. The crew did scream at us and asked us to go back but... NO ONE LISTENED. So.. after a while, they just GAVE UP! lol... The producers were smart... They put SHINee as the 2nd last performers because they wanted people to watch the program. If SHINee was first, everyone would have left after that. Seriously!! I felt bad/sorry for Eason Chan because he was after SHINee. =( Everyone just left the place after SHINee finished performing.

MANY fans waited at the... car park there for SHINee to take transport back to their Hotel (ahem ahem... I was one of them ) HAHAH. But it's useless la, they wouldn't take the transport in front of SOO many fans. they must have gone back through some secret way. HAHA. Guess what?! I didn't even know how SHINee could come to Singapore WITHOUT any fans seeing them at the air port! So.. They must have found some secret way to come to Singapore unnoticed(sp?).

LOVED the experience =D There was this lady that just PUSHED AND SCREAMED "Jong Hyun" in a VERYYY fierce way. SCARY FAN NEH!! Everyone got a shock when she screamed. HAHA. But.. Who cares about her when SHINee is there?! HAHAH.

2010-03-12T09:48:00.001-08:00

Feeling SUPER GUILTY AND BAD NOW! =( I feel so bad! My goodness. I don't know how can I repay my brother =S

China People

2010-03-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

I OFFICIALLY DISLIKE CHINA PEOPLE!

Work today was one word... HORRIBLE! There was a new special drinks menu today. I was having fun making it and being excited over it!! I was soooo happy when some one told me " Eh the drink is very nice " THEN... AFTER THE CHINA PEOPLE CAME! I HATED THAT DRINK! HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT! IT MADE MY JAM LIKE CRAZY. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY HAVE A NORMAL HUMNA STOMACH OR NOT!! PLEASE LA! 1 PERSON MORE THAN 3 CUPS OF DRINKS. And my collegues also jammed helping them serve food. I think they spent around $3000 plus. NOT ONLY DRINKS THEY ALSO FINISHED ALL MY DESSERTS!! One box, two boxes, three boxes.. JUST G.O.N.E! LIKE THAT! ANDAND, THEY THINK THAT THEY ARE KINGS AND WE HAVE TO SERVE THEM LIKE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES IN THE RESTAURANT!! PLEASE LOR, WE STILL HAVE OTHER CUSTOMERS, SO STOP COMPLAINING! YOU THINK DOING PANTRY IS VERY EASY HUH?! THEN YOU COME AND TRY LA! Usually it's okay when I'm alone in the pantry BUT TODAY, I needed my collegue's help AND my manager's help! SOO... TOTAL 3 PEOPLE IN THE PANTRY! STILL COMPLAIN, STILL COMPLAIN!!! THIS IS WHY I DISLIKE (TOO POLITE) CHINA PEOPLE! IMPATIENT AND RUDE! ARGHH!!

But not all la. HAHAHA. Reminds me of my dance instructor, she treats me really well anyway =D So why would I dislike her just because she's from China. HAHA. Some are good la.

I only started learning the special menu today and I memorised ALL of them already. Thanks to the china people.

BUT, on the bright side.. =D It's really good to have such great collegues. HEHE. When I went into the kitchen, the dish washer asked me to cheer up. When the chefs came out to have a drink, they asked me to smile. When I was washing the cups and making the drinks, my collegues told me that everything was okay. =D So.. I thank them sincerely from the bottom of my heart =D Though I'll be quitting next week but I will DEFINITELY go back to visit them! I'll miss them! This job has been a GOOD experience. Now.. I'll not complain if the drinks/desserts are slow =D HAHAH.

Promise me, that you will never let me go

2010-03-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

7th March :

Had family lunch at "Toby's" and LOVED IT =D Ate dessert =S Guilty much?! Black forest cake!! YUMYUM. Wanted to get Tiramisu though, but.... I wanted to try something new =D haha. I'm always TIRAMISU TIRAMISU, so I wanted to try something new. But Tiramisu still remains my FAVOURITE CAKE! =D

Went to meet Huiwen and went to Raffles City first because the rest are LATE. Haha. Headed down to Plaza Sing then The Cathay then back to Plaza Sing. LJing, Ada, XH, Ernest came =D Watched "Dear John" and....... HAHAHA. I don't know how to start. Well, this can be called my "noisest movie" because I was busy laughing! HAHA.
One part is the.. " WARNING! blah blah blah is not allowed " I suddenly burst out laughing because I remembered Ada saying exactly the same thing as the man when we were outside. Lol.
Second part : "Bang!"(Gun shot) Huiwen "jumped" out of her seat. LOL!! I LAUGHED FOR DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN LONG! LOL. And it wasn't suppose to be the funny part!! It was suppose to be the part where everyone would go "OH NO!" And I went "HAHAHA!" lol. What a bad timing.

I don't know what to say about the movie. It's.. okay, romantic. A bit monotonous though, like... I don't find any climax. OH! Except the part where the girl married a guy that I didn't even expect! I was SUPER shocked. The movie is sweet and stuff but... just a bit dull. PLUS! The seats were SOOOOOOOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE. hahah!! Ada, Huiwen and I KEPT moving our positions because I just couldn't get the right position and my back started to hurt =S Old le!! =( haha Luckily it wasn't only me who felt that the seats were uncomfortable. I usually don't really mind how the seats are like but this one... seriously horrible. HAHA. So... in short, don't watch. HAHAH! I don't think it's worth watching la. SAD LIFE, my favourite author =*(

Okay, headed down to Bedok 85 to have late dinner. Drank one cup of honey lemon and COULDN'T resist and shared Bar Chor Mee with Huiwen. Believe it or not, yesterday was the FIRST time in my WHOLE LIFE eating Bar Chor Mee. HAHA. I don't really like the smell of PORK. Hahah. Except Tmart's Ban Mian. I don't know why but it covers the smell of pork =D Hehe. Ada blogged about something FREAKING funny at Bedok 85 about Ernest =D Please go and read. HAHA. I'm still laughing whenever I think about it. HAHA.

Bus-ed home and camwhored. =D As usual, pictures are with Huiwen. Shall wait for her to upload it. Okay... camwhore-ing in buses are NOT that good because I'll feel SICK, feel like vomitting and in the end, I vomitted. Kinda "forced" myself because I was feeling horrible. =S No choice la. HAHA. Well, felt better after vomitting AND I don't feel as guilty as before for eating dinner =D

What a wordy post AGAIN.

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Managed to leave the card for LD under his house's door! HAHAH. Mission accomplished.

Happy Birthdays!!

2010-03-05T10:43:00.001-08:00

5 March :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIWEN! Haha. Went for work in the morning - 12pm - 3pm because I helped my manager cover his shift. I'm SUCH a nice girl =D haha. But I understand la, his son is taking A level results, he will be worried. Ate 2 slices of bread for lunch! =D HAPPY ME. Bread can be SOO nice. Rushed home to work, thanks daddy for fetching me. Heard my brother's results from my mother. It wasn't that good and he is very disappointed. Was SUPER worried for him because I saw the amount of effort that he had put in for his A levels. So... I called him to asked him if he was okay but then when I heard him crying, my voice suddenly shook too. Tears just suddenly whelm up and I felt like I was about to cry. =S I know it's weird but I cannot take it when I see/hear people cry. It just GETS into me =S So... I think he kinda know that I was sounding weird already so we both quickly ended our conversation.

After that, I wasn't very excited to go out already. =( But well, IT'S HUIWEN'S BIRTHDAY. Rushed like MAD and met her. Went to watch Alice In Wonderland and I don't know why, but I knew that she didn't really like it. HAHAHA. Okay. It's my type of show =D CHILDISH MA!! HAHA. Love Johnny Depp's acting! =D I didn't like Alice In Wonderland when I was young because I found it... weird and scary. HAHA. Seriously, when I was really young. I thought that the queen looked WEIRD and... walking cards?! They just scare me. HAHA. And I saw Alice turning big to small to big to small. So I just disliked Alice In Wonderland. HAHA. But I'm okay with it now. OHOH! And that STUPID cat that can disappear!! DISGUSTING. hahaha. But now I find it cute? HAHA.

Went to Pasir Ris Park to give a surprise to Huiwen. I think I can "lie" better now =D HAHA. Okay.. Whatever. THANK YOU AUDREY ZI YING JULINE QIU YIN. Because I didn't do much for the surprise. I just watched the movie with Huiwen, failed to make her run to the chalet. HAHA. CREDITS TO THE 4 OF YOU! Went to E!Hub to eat sushi! =D Ate the least today? Fried Tofu + Baby Octopus + Salmon ( Shared ) + 1 piece of Scallop. Went to get yougurt ice cream and had fun playing with HELIUM! =D YEAH!! SO FUN! HAHAH but it was so public, I can't believe that we actually did it! HAHA. All the recordings are in Huiwen's camera, so I'll wait for her to SLOWLY upload =D HEHE. The girls left while Huiwen and I bus-ed down to CheeseCake Cafe to get a cake for my brother =( Cheer up gift! I hope it helps him! It really hurts me to see him so upset. =( Haiz. Okay... Went to Mac's after that BUT I didn't eat anything =D HEHE! Went to the playground to PLAY + Take pics! HEHEHE. Stayed up until... 1.40am and walked home!! WALKED HOME! HAHA. Because I felt fat + no bus + Don't want to spend money on transport.

Ex-NAS people I saw today : Joyce <333, Jolyn, Jia Yi, Min Lin, Damien, Yun Chou, Rachel

OHOH! Before we went home, Huiwen and I called LD and LR to wish them HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Sorry that we couldn't wish you guys at 12am! We totally lost track of the time!! SO SORRY.
--------------------------

Sometimes I wonder whether I can EVER be skinny. I highly doubt so. I can't even imagine myself being skinny. It seems like something impossible. More impossible then getting 8A1s for O levels, climbing the highest mountain, swimming the deepest sea.

Sometimes I wonder whether I am suited for Dance or not? Maybe I'm just not Dance Material? Fat + Not fit + Bad Dancing = Not Dance Material.

Lastly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIANG RONG AND LIANG DENG

Being loved is bliss, loving is pain

2010-03-04T08:02:00.000-08:00

Having loved then lost is better than never having loved before.
Had a normal routine today. Woke up, drama-ed, bel came over to do some enrolment thing =( I keep forgetting that she's in SP. TRY APPEAL OVER!! Hope her Appeal will succeed =D Okay, went to work today and it was HORRENDOUS. Haha. Busy like nothing. =S HATE IT. Cause I'll start going crazy. My eyes are soooo tired now =(

After work, we were gathered around and were just chatting. Then my manager said something " Esther, next time when you want to find a boyfriend, must find someone that loves you. And not someone that you love but don't love you. Because loving is very painful while being loved is very blissful and happy. One-sided love is EVEN worse." I don't know why but it suddenly got me thinking. Loving someone IS really painful, I've been there & done that. Especially when it's obviously a one-sided love.

But loving someone is not my choice. It's not like I can control my feelings. Even if I try to convince myself that I don't like him, and that he is just a friend, good friend or even like a brother to me, if I like him, I like him. I can't do anything about my feelings. All I could do is not to tell him anything and wait for my feelings for him to fade away.

But what I am feeling now is..... worse? I don't even know if it's love or not.

--------------------------

5th March :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST HUIWEN! =D
LOVE YOU LOTS!! THANKS FOR ALL THE TIMES THAT WE'VE SPENT
TOGETHER FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS!!
THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS ACCOMPANYING ME TO DO STUFF =D
THANK YOU FOR BEING THE PERSON THAT I CAN TURN TO WHEN I'M TROUBLED OR CONFUSED!
LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE =D

- A level results are coming out at 2:30pm!! MUST make sure that I set my ringtone to the loudest! =D Gonna be NERVOUS for my PRECIOUS BROTHER! But I know that he had done his best!! I've NEVER seen him study like that before! It's true that he IS smart but for A levels, He really gave EVERYTHING that he had! Though he told me that he's not confident because the papers were WEIRD and DIFFICULT but.. I KNOW THAT HE CAN DO IT!! =D GOD IS WITH US! IF A MIRCALE CAN HAPPEN TO ME ( O LEVEL RESULTS ) A MIRACLE CAN HAPPEN TO HIM!! =D

2010-03-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

Five member group TVXQ's (U-Know Yunho, YoungWoong Jaejoong, Micky Yoochun, Xiah Junsu, Choikang Changmin) fanclub Cassiopeia performed a surprise flash mob in front of Woori Bank in MyungDong, Seoul on the afternoon of the 27th.

The flash mob, that was performed at 12:26 pm on the 27th, happened nationwide in places such as Gwangju, Pusan, Myungdong and Chungjoo, and was to show that the fans were united in their support for TVXQ and that they would believe in and wait for the five members.

THEY ACTUALLY DANCED TO DBSK'S SONGS!! WHY COULDN'T I BE IN KOREA?! I WANT TO DANCE WITH THEM TOO!! I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! DANCING IN PUBLIC WITH A BIG GROUP OF PEOPLE!! AND SOMEMORE, I CAN SHOW THAT I BELIEVE AND SUPPORT DBSK! ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH LOVE! =D

I go crazy because of you

2010-03-03T08:11:00.001-08:00

Second Japanese class today. SUPER SUPER CONFUSED! Haha. Never mind, I'll just keep practicing my writing first. Then... I'll solve the other problems next week.

Random :
- I'm getting bored at work. =( Gonna quit soon. Then I can go SHOPPPING for Poly!! =D I haven't gotten SO many clothes! I'm like.. clothes-less?

- Haven't been exercising due to... some issues. But. I GOT TO START EXERCISING AGAIN!!

- I realised that 2 bananas and 1 apple keeps me FULL =D I should eat that everyday for lunch and dinner.

- I WANT TO DANCE AGAIN! =( I'M SOOOO DEPRIVED OF DANCE! Have been watching KPOP videos. I MISSSSSSSSSSSSS DANCING =(

- JDrama - My Boss My Hero R.O.C.K.S! =D I was drinking soup today and ALMOST wanted to spit it out because I couldn't contain my laughter.

- I want to do MORE online shopping =D BUT, I realised that there are a lot of sale going on now!! FIRST STOP : ZARA ( Thanks Huiwen in advance =D ) HAHAHAH.

- AM GONNA CATCH ALICE IN WONDERLAND WITH HUIWEN =D EXCITED!! I LOVE JOHNNY DEPP. I still have my "Dear John" ( by my favourite author!! ) and I missed my "71 tenants" Nevermind. Shall just DL it.

- ANYBODY WANTS KPOP ALBUM?! ASK ME =D HEHEHE.

In the time that we can’t see each other, our love strengthens

2010-03-01T05:23:00.000-08:00

Why isn't anyone updating their blogs?! =( I GOT NOTHING TO READ! HAHA. Well, whatever, K =D MY BLOG IS... SUPER DEAD, SO I'LL BE UPLOADING PHOTOSSS =D YIPPIE!

NARSHA AND GA IN =D

Okay.. Not much photos.. but.. IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING!
This was from CNY when we went to visit Mrs Liu.. ABIT long ago but I was too lazy to upload it

Okay.. I could only let myself upload 1 picture because the rest SUCKS! Guess who was the photographer? CHONG WEI BIN, that's why the pictures SUCKED!
I don't really like this one either but.. WHATEVER hehehe...

---------------

Learnt from yesterday, do not get bored when I'm are using the computer because I will start online shopping WHICH IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING TO DO! haha. Especially when I do buy things implusively!

----------------

HAPPY 1ST MARCH! Went out with Huiwen today to TP to submit our Enrolment thing =D Well, we planned to have our lunch there but... couldn't take the weirdness HAHA. So we just drank and left. STUPID stomach cramp =( Made my day quite bad because it hurts but I still had to walk. =*( It made me feel like my stomach was about to fall out. HAHAHA. Went to Tmall to collect my mended skirt! YEAH. haha. Tako Pachi-ed and bus-ed down to PP! ( please ignore those non-existing words ) HAHA. Okay, went to PP and bought MORE apples =D Decided to survive on apples to lose weight. 3 APPLES A DAY? Haha. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Okay, being fat is SUPER SUPER SUPER HORRIBLE BECAUSE, everytime I go to Watsons...
"EH! Slimming tea!! " "Eh! Slimming cream" "Should I buy? Should I buy?" Even though I know that it's probably fake butBUT, I don't feel lke giving up on the LAST BIT of hope to lose weight. But... in order to save the money that I've spent on my onling shopping =( I LET IT GO. =( I'll go back to buy it some day =D HAHAHAHA. I told Huiwen to make sure that I'm below ** before I go to Poly if not.. DON'T LET ME ENTER! haha. Like real. =( ** is impossible.

Okay!! Better go and study my Japanese now when I have time!! I MUST DO WELL IN IT!! =D THEN I CAN GO JAPAN TO FIND MY JAE JOONG! HEHEHE.

-----------------

After I watched the B.E.G concert! I SUDDENLY FEEL LIKE BECOMING A BACK UP DANCER FOR KOREAN IDOLS!! I WILL WORK HARD TO BE THE B.E.S.T SO THAT I CAN DANCE WIEHT DBSK! HAHAHA. Who ask them to be the BEST?! =D Well... I don't think that dream can come true, then I was thinking... Since I'll be working in the tourism & hospitality line... Maybe I can work with the Korean Tourism Organisation to bring more Korean Idols over to Singapore? HAHA. Or MAYBE, DBSK can stay at my HOTEL! HEHEHEHE. I'll camp outside their room. HAHAHA. Okay, whatever. Just dreams that I've been thinking about. HAHA. Am gonna work hard to earn money now!!! NEED TO REVIVE MY BLOGSHOP! I NEED MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sundown Life Party - ZOUK!

2010-02-27T09:44:00.001-08:00

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO START THIS POST BECAUSE I'M LIKE FILLED WITH.............. EXCITEMENT?! HAHAHA. Okay...

Went to Zouk at 5 plus and queued till 7pm. Went in at 7pm and waited till 9pm. When we were in there, the music that they were playing were English music, those hip hop kind. Then around 8-ish, THEY PLAYED KOREAN MUSIC! HAHAHAHA. THE CROWD TOTALLY WENT C.R.A.Z.Y!! EVERYONE WAS SINGING ALONG WITH THE SONG!! THEN PEOPLE WERE SCREAMING " SO NYO SHI DAE", "2PM", "SHINEE", "SUJU" AND OBVIOUSLY =D "DONG BANG!!" HAHAH. That includes me, DUH! lol. Then when "Ring Ding Dong" was played, everyone was like "RING DING DONG DING DING DONG DING DINGGY DINGGY DING DING" lol!!! Then "Genie - Tell me your wish" was the last song before the concert. So....ALL THE GUYS IN FRONT WERE PRACTICALLY SCREAMING!!!!!!! Singing their song! hahaha. "DJ! PUT IT BACK ON!"

WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!! SO FUN!! HAHAHAHA. IT WAS SUPER SUPER SUPER SQUEEZY WHEN THE CONCERT STARTED!! EVERYONE WAS PUSHING AND PUSHING AND PUSHING. I was standing behind this... platform, for the camera crew. Then my knee was just pushed against that platform!! HURTS DAMN BADLY. My knees are like... DARK BROWN NOW?! LOL. Can see the diff man! Then later this camera man was like.. SUPER NICE?! hahaha. I just like jumped onto the platform then sat down, then he said "Wah, our camera crew increased in number" Then I was like "YUP!" Then he said "Nah, do you want me camera?" Me *Nods the head* HAHA.I DON'T MIND LA PLEASE!! IT'S A PROFESSIONAL CAMERA! WHO DOESN'T WANT IT FOR FREE?!

So that was my place for the next half of the concert =D HAHAHA. IT'S A GOOD THING BECAUSE WE ARE HIGHER UP LIKE THAT. Brown Eyed Girls were AMAZING!!!!!! OMG! GA-IN IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO H.O.T!! EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T TALK MUCH BUT I STILL FIND HER DAMN HOT!! NARSHA!!!! SHE DAMN PRETTY! OMG! NARSHA IS THE PRETTIEST IN B.E.G =D There was this dance competition but I didn't get chosen =( SAD LIFE BUT... Even if I got chosen, I would not have won because the contestants were B.E.G GEEKS! LOL. THEY MEMORISED THE WHOLE DANCE!! OMG?! AND IT'S LIKE 3 SONGS?! Obviously there was ABRACADABRA! LOL.

OVERALL, A PERFECT EXPERIENCE!! A VERY VERY AWESOME EXPERIENCE! =D HAHAHAH. I DON'T MIND DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT MORE OFTEN!!!! BUT MY THROAT IS HURTING BADLY NOW! HAVE BEEN DRINKING MY DIET TEA TO HOPEFULLY CURE MY THROAT TOO?! HAHAHA.

Clique Outing

2010-02-27T00:10:00.000-08:00

26 Feb 10

Finally a clique outing =D All of us had been busy for the past few weeks, so we didn't really meet up! Went out with Huiwen yesterday to collect our medical report. I WAS LATE!! SO VERY SORRY!! Then after that, we went "shopping" HAHA. Then headed down to Tmall. Had our Tako Pachi and both of us felt like vomitting after that. =S Took our photo and.. I don't really approve of it BECAUSE my head wasn't tilted!! HAHAHA. Well, whatever, since when was I liking my ezlink card photos anyway?! hahah.

Met Juline and Zy, those MJC girls. HAHA. Then went to Ajisen ramen. Qiuyin and Audrey came after that. Only ate fried tofu there because I felt like vomiting. HAHA. Drank Strawberry soda! So strawberry! HEHE. I stole some noodles and soup from Juline though. HAHAH.

Love talking to them. It's just.. FUN! hehe. Went shopping after that then headed home at around 10 plus.

---------------------

MY AIM FOR NEXT MONTH = LOSE **KG =D I think it's impossible la but... I NEED TO! I don't care what I'm going to do to lose those weights but I M.U.S.T! STARVE, EXERCISE, VOMIT. ANYTHING! haha. Eating vegetable? =S

NEW SCHOOL = NEW ESTHER =D ( Maybe not the personality, just the looks/appearance )

---------------------

Am going for "Sundown Zouk Live Party" later! I'M EXCITED but.. I don't feel like going =( Because I feel so fat. Peopl who go for parties ARE NOT FAT! Except me =( HAIZ.

Mixed feelings

2010-02-24T07:15:00.000-08:00

Woke up at 8.20am this morning and went for my JAPANESE class =D It was fun!! Though I struggled with the "polite", "impolite" and "casual" tone. But... I'm gonna work hard and study it!! The writings are quite weird too. HAHA. A tad difficult. Other then that, it was GREAT! I have a very fun teacher! HAHA. His drawing is AWESOME.

Went to meet Huiwen and went to do our check up. I ate "Curry Chicken Rice" for lunch because I was watching a jap show and got a sudden craving. Medical check up was fast. Haha. The Urine test was... HAHAHAHAHAHA. Let's just say Huiwen and I made A LOT of noise in the toilet. HAHAH. When we were given the bottle, we requested for water =D HAHA. Cause.. no choice ma.. I didn't have any pee. After a while, we went to the toilet and were discussing

Huiwen : "Eh which one you want? Standing or sit?"
Me : "Eh.. Anything."
Huiwen : "Eh! How come the sit one don't have the thing to hold the bottle?! How to hold the bottle?"
Me : "Eh, hold on the hand?"
Huiwen : "HUH?! Hold on hand?! SO DISGUSTING"
* conversation continued for a WHILE *
So.... she went in the standing and I went for the sitting one.. Mine failed and I went out to wait for her cubicle. LOL. Huiwen *screamed screamed and screamed* HAHAHA. Then after she came out she KEPT washing her hand till I finished. Me *Screamed screamed and screamed* come out, washed my hand and legs. HAHAHAHA. She washed about 5 times and I washed around 3 times. Went to give the lady our bottle and decided to go to the toilet again to wash our hands! HAHAHA.

After that, we went to do our X ray and saw Bel with her parents on the way back. Went to Takashimaya to shop and wanted to visit LJing and WeiHao but they were at Centrepoint. HAHA.
Then after, at some staircase at Takashimaya, Huiwen took my phone and wanted to sms something. Then I was snatching it back from her and we both... "fell" HAHAH. It was FREAKING funny because we were like fighting fighting and we just fell on the stairs. And there were quite a number of people watching!! HAHA. But like she said, luckily we didn't roll down. HAHA. But we sat on the stairs for a while to recover from shock. HAHAHA. It was damn funny!! Went to bedok interchange and NTUC-ed. HAHAHA. I LOVE the NTUC trip that we always make. HAHA. We can stay there for DAMN long. It's like....... not one sided? Both of us will take DAMN long, so it's FAIR haha.

Okay... Here... I will start scolding

------------------

So after that we went to Watsons at Bedok Central to get my ulcer cream. Then I went to the pharmacist and asked for the ulcer cream.
Then I was like "What about the one *shows him my phone since I wrote the name inside* "
He said "It's for infection outside the mouth"
Me : "What about the one beside the box that you showed me?"
He : "This is a pharmacist and I am the doctor. So I prescribe the medicine to you. Down here is not for you to choose medicine okay. If you want to choose go outside and choose. Listen one more time. I'm not going to repeat. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Please get this registered in your brain"

FUCK HIM LA! I DON'T CARE IF I'M BEING VULGAR FOR THE FIRST TIME OR WHAT. I CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE LOR! I HAVEN'T SAID THE F WORD FOR AGES AND ACTUALLY IT'S A SHAME TO USE IT ON HIM BECAUSE HE IS NOT EVEN WORTH ME SAYING THE F WORD! IT'S SUCH AN HONOUR TO HIM THAT I'M USING IT ON HIM. FAT ASS BITCH. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU'RE JUST A PATHETIC PHARMACIST THAT CAN'T EVEN WORK IN A HOSPITAL AND I AM THE CUSTOMER SO I CAN CHOOSE WHETHER I WANT TO BUY OR NOT, NOT YOU! SUCKER! I HOPE THAT BEDOK CENTRAL WATSONS WILL CLOSE DOWN BECAUSE OF YOU. PLEASE LA IDIOT. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE THE BEST DOCTOR ON EARTH. FUCKING IDIOT. YOU'RE JUST A PAIN IN THE ASS. WHO GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO LECTURE ME IN PUBLIC. YOU'RE JUST A FAT ASS DOCTOR! ACTUALLY I SUSPECT THAT YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL DOCTOR. WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR WILL SPEAK TO A PATIENT LIKE THIS?! FUCK OFF LA FUCKING BITCH.

I'M PROUD OF MYSELF BECAUSE I TALKED BACK TO HIM. IT'S MY FIRST TIME TALKING BACK TO A STRANGER OKAY! I DON'T TALK BACK TO STRANGERS. I MUST TRAIN HOW TO TALK BACK TO STRANGERS SO THAT I WON'T GET BULLIED.

* I was thinking of ALOT of things to scold him when I was on the way home, at home, going to meet huiwen, dinner until now. *

I seriously don't care if I was being vulgar, which I usually don't because I commited myself to stop saying vulgarities. But I REALLY REALLY cannot tahan already. To others, vulgarities are like... punctations but for me, when I say vulgarities, it means that I'm REALLY angry.

MOTHER FUCKER! FUCK OFF!

--------------------

Okay. Enough of that. WAH! Feel DAMN good after scolding him! Okay... Not going to use vulgarities again from now on.

After I got home, I obviously complained to my father and got ready to meet Huiwen for dinner. Went to HK cafe to eat and we were FREAKING FREAKING FULL!! Saw NAS Principal, Mr Lim and his family eating at HK Cafe too. Then Huiwen and I just started talking. We can talk for damn long. I saw an ex NAS student in the bus and I forgot to tell Huiwen who is he.. But..I don't know his name. HAHA.

-------------------

Okay, random :
1) I look FREAKING ugly when I sweat.
2) Anyone who calls me now will experience me PMS-ing because I just did it to Hong Yang. HAHA.
3) I HOPE THE WATSONS AT BEDOK CENTRAL WILL CLOSE DOWN!!
4) I HOPE THE IDIOT FAT ASS WILL LOSE HIS JOB AND GET BANKCRUPT AND HAVE NO MONEY TO EAT! EH.. but cannot.. He cannot become skinny. I HOPE HE GETS FATTER!

2010-02-23T09:31:00.001-08:00

Going to have my FIRST Japanese lesson later at 10am and I'm FREAKING tired now!! Having a slight headache.. Just finished the enrolment submission. And wondered if I should put "yes" for frequent headache. And I'm going to see the doctor tml to have my medical check up. I GAINED WEIGHT =( SO... what do I do at 1am after realising I gained weight? Put on weights on my leg and start running up and down the stairs, do 30 push ups, 50 sit ups, 30 squats and lost 0.3kg. MY GOODNESS. No wonder I'm having a headache. HAHA.

Random : Why no one believe that I do not have a boyfriend? =S Do I look very despo? HAHAHA

2010-02-22T21:38:00.000-08:00

OKAY!!! THERE WAS A HUGE MISTAKE =D HEHEHEHE
I'M NOT GOING TO SENTOSA FOR ORIENTATION ALREADY!!
BECAUSE... THAT ONE IS FOR HOPITALITY AND TOURISM BUSINESS!!
WHILE MINE IS HOSPITALITY AND TOURISM MANAGEMENT!! =D

SHALL PATIENTLY WAIT FOR MY ENROLLMENT PACKAGE TO COME ALREADY =D
HEHEHE. I LOVE TP NOW!! HAHAHAHAAH

The package is taking SOO long =(

Kpop News - SNSD

2010-02-21T23:26:00.001-08:00

[Skip if you want =D]
Not important, I'm just ranting.

I suddenly don't like SeoHyun from SNSD.

SNSD's Seohyun confessed about the new song 'Oh!' in the recent recorded episode.

In the recent recording of SBS 'Kang Shim Jang,' Seohyun confessed, "I had a very difficult time recording the part that says 'Oppa Saranghae [Oppa, I love you]'. Although I practised several times beforehand, I just couldn't get myself to sing that part when we went in the recording room." After letting out a huge sigh, Seohyun continued, "I couldn't do it because the lyrics were just too much!"

Then suddenly, it is annouced that she's joining "We Got Married" with Jung YongHwa. SO ridiculous. Somemore she just graduated from high school, confessed/claimed that she can't even say "Oppa Sarang Hae" And now.. She's going to get married? Somemore in the preview of "We Got Married" She looked so open to Jung YongHwa already. I wonder if she's really that innocent or just acting innocent.

I kinda agree with this article after I read it.

http://thegrandnarrative.wordpress.com/2010/02/15/girls-generation-korean-sexuality/

SAD LIFE MUCH?

2010-02-21T06:42:00.000-08:00

OMG!! HUIWEN JUST TOLD ME SOMETHING

"ORIENTATION FOR STUDENTS ADMITTED TO THE DIPLOMA IN HOSPITALITY AND TOURISM BUSINESS WILL COMMENCE ON THE SAME DAY AS THE INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS REPORTING DAY"

I DON'T WANT I DON'T WANT!! I REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT!!!! I WANT TO BE ON THE SAME DAY AS ALL THE REST!! HOW CAN THEY BE LIKE THIS?! WHY CAN'T WE HAVE ORIENTATION WITH OTHER COURSES?! WHY THE INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS?! THIS IS SOOO UNFAIR!! I NEED MY ENROLMENT PACKAGE NOW TO CONFIRM!! OR.... EVERYONE RECIEVED IT EXCEPT ME!! DON'T TELL ME I WON'T GET IT YET CAUSE I CAN'T GO FOR THE SAME ORIENTATION AS THEM?! OMG! SHIT IT!

I D.O.N.T W.A.N.T!!!

FREAKING FREAKING SAD NOW

I DON'T LIKE TP!! I DON'T LIKE TP!!

-------------------------

[edited]

Omg. I'm ABOUT to cry! =(

Orientation at
TAS: 9 - 16 Apr
2010 Reporting
time: 9.00am

TAS = Tourism Academy @ Sentosa

I really don't want!! I want to have the same orientation as the rest!!
I don't want to have a different one! HOW CAN THEY?!

2010-02-19T09:15:00.000-08:00

I have been having DINNERS DINNERS AND DINNERS. Which is TOTALLY NOT A GOOD THING. BECAUSE I'LL GAIN WEIGHT! IDIOTIC! I don't want to be bulimic, seriously. But sometimes, whenever I think of my weight, look at my fats, I'll just go to the toilet to try to vomit whatever I ate. But.. it just can't come out! Then I'll start hating myself, I'll start to regret that I actually ate. Every night before I sleep I'll think of my weight, every morning when I wake up I'll think of my weight. WHEN will I ever stop thinking of my weight. Seriously am gonna save up money for Lipo. I don't care if I'm artificial already or not. At least I'm not changing my face. And... plastic surgery seems so common nowadays anyway.

Went to Orchard to sign up for my Japanese class =D Am starting next Wed! EXCITED!! =D CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT. =D Took a SUPER long bus ride to Bedok interchange and went to Tampines Giant to meet Zx, Cal =D, ZY <3, Qy! Bought the food and went to Zx's house. Prepared and played Wii! =D I LOVE WII! hahahaha. Even though I'm SUPER noob at it, but STILL LOVE IT!! hehehe. I should invest in a Wii! Dinner and Gambled. Was losing at the start but manage to earn them back =D HAHAHA. Took out my lucky charm - JJ's pic! HAHAHA. Ada wasn't there! AIYA! She was my lucky charm yesterday! I ban luck like nothing. HAHAH. Gambled till around 12am and cabbed home with LD.

Wasn't "High" today. So yup. Not much funny things happened. I don't know but sometimes I just like to keep quiet. Anyway someone also asked me to shut up.

---------------------

I want to type some things out!! =( But down here is SUPER inappropriate!

Work tml at 12pm.

With all my heart

2010-02-18T08:23:00.000-08:00

Let me blog about this while it's still fresh in my memory =D HAHA. Woke up at 9am today!! OMG!! Accomplishment neh!! =D HEHE. Went jogging with weights while my legs were already aching. SO.... it ached EVEN more when I reached home. Still felt fat though

Lunched and drama-ed =D LOVE the show!!! Went to meet Huiwen at PP at 330pm and went to do some things =D Stayed at PP till 7 plus! HAHA. We went through the WHOLE "Clinique" in Isetan HAHAHAHA. Plus the wallets section too! SERIOUSLY. We touched almost everything we saw. HAHAHA. Then we chilled over at Mac's =D Just love the time when we can sit down and talk talk talk. AHAH. LOVEEEE the times with her!!!Then later on, when Hong Yang called he said "I CALLED YOU AT 3 PLUS YOU ALREADY AT PP, NOW I CALL YOU AT 7 PLUS YOU STILL AT PP" hahaha!!

Went to Hy's house bus stop and they came to fetch us. =D Waited for LJing and Weihao. Headed down to Hong Yang's house and Xiang Hao came a while later. Played Black Jack and I was losing money at the start. Then we had DINNER --> Popiah and curry with bread. HAHA. I felt like vomiting after dinner!! Must have ate too much! Tried to force the food out but couldn't =(

After dinner, we went to play Black Jack again! THIS TIME, we took turns to be Banker. It went in a round =D HEHEHE. THEN MY LUCK CHANGED! HEHEHE. For the first 2 times when I was Banker, I got BAN LUCK! =D HEHEHE. And a lot of people gave me face!! HEHE. They bet MORE when I was banker. YEAH YEAH YEAH =D I think I was DAMN HIGH today. I don't know why. SERIOUSLY DAMN HIGH. lol.

After Hy's house today. I got into a complicated relationship =( WeiHao is my husband and Huiwen is his mistress. So... I'm going to divorce WeiHao but his money is my money =D However, my money is NOT his =D HEHEH. And another reason why I'm gonna divorce him is because he has TOO many mistresses outside! Hhaha. Then suddenly.... Ada and LJing are our parents. Ernest... he has someone outside? HAHAH. And Xiang Hao just has TOO much money to spare =D HAHAHA. After Hy's house, we went to eat dessert =D Shared Mango Pomelo with Sago with Huiwen. On the bus ride home, suddenly, I'm going to divorce WeiHao again and LJing became my boyfriend then I dumped him then he became my boyfriend again. HAHA! Can't be helped, WHO ASK WEIHAO TO HAVE SO MANY MISTRESSES?! HAHAHA. But then when I was about to alight, WeiHao asked me to check my bank acc tml =D BECAUSE, his money is my money! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Even after we get a divorce! HAHAHA.

ANYWAY, Whatever we did today was... A.W.E.S.O.M.E! Even the WORST joke was funny. HAHAHA.

-----------------

OH MY GOOOOOODNESS!!
I REALLY N.E.E.D DBSK'S ALBUM!!

Dong Bang Shin Ki - The 3rd Asia Tour Concert "Mirotic" in Seoul (3DVD + Photobook + Bookmark) (Korea Version)

And

Best Selection 2010

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!! =( Should I use my ang bao money to pay for it?! And the money that I've earned working?! I NEED THE ALBUM BADLY =( aha

OKAY - This is official! HAVING IDOLS ARE NOT GOOD TO YOUR POCKETS!

2010-02-17T08:33:00.000-08:00

DBSK'S "BEST SELECTION 2010" ALBUM IS OUT!! BUT THOSE STUPID PEOPLE INVENTED ALBUM A ALBUM B AND ALBUM C! AND ALL ARE DAMN TEMPTING TO GET! SHIT THEM!! OH MY GOODNESS!! I'M DYING

A : DVD - DBSK'S OFFSHOT MOVIE!!
B : DVD - KARAOKE!!
C : PHOTO BOOK!!

HOW?! HOW HOW?!

Excited to meet Huiwen tml, BET she's excited to see me too! =D HEHE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANG MIN =D

I want to love passionately in winter

2010-02-16T22:58:00.000-08:00

16 Feb

Woke up at 9am despite sleeping at 4am and went to Mrs Liu's house. I was late. HAHAH. So not used to being the second latest!! Mrs Liu is SUPER FUNNY + CUTE =D Love her. HAHA. BUT SHE SAID I WAS F.A.T. =( SADDEN X 10000000000000 Singapore's weather was K.I.L.L.I.N.G ME!!! I miss HongKong's weather!! I didn't even sweat for the 7 days there!! I just walked out of my house yesterday and I felt like I was sweating already! HAHA.

LOVE 4R5'09!! IT'S JUST SO FUN BEING WITH THEM! HEHE. Managed to see a few of my classmates whom I have not seen in a while! Really miss them!! Lunched together and went home because I got to work at 6pm. THANK GOODNESS I WAS AT WORK! IF NOT.. I don't know how they can manage man! YESTERDAY WAS THE BUSIET DAY EVER!! I was like RUNNING AROUND RUNNING AND RUNNING!! MY GOODNESS! I COULD HAVE DIED! WE FINALLY HIT OUR QUOTA!! IT ROCKS WHEN YOU CAN HIT YOUR QUOTA!! =D Really lucky! HAHA I almost felt like calling in sick because I just didn't feel like working.

And I didn't keep to my... "rule". HAHA. I drank Umeshu Soda. But I didn't get drunk of course!! I only drank one cup. I should just stick to that drink and avoid Vodka! HAHAHA.

Got home yesterday and slept at 1am! Wanted to wake up to jog but failed AGAIN. ARGHH!!! Started to watch a drama - Attack No. 1. Though I've watched it before but I watched a bit here and there. HAHA. One thing to say - Japanese coaches are DAMN SCARY! And it's sad when a crush that you like likes your friend.

--------------

I DREAMT OF KIM JAE JOONG YESTERDAY! HEHEHE. It was SUCH a childish dream!! SO PS!

--------------

Just read something..

Liposuction Procedure

The procedure can "sculpture " your body by removing extra fat from tummy, buttocks, arms, knees, cheeks and neck.. You must remember that liposuction is not an alternative for diet and exercise, it`s main target is to help remove extra fat from areas in which fat reduction cannot be done successfully by dieting.

SAD LIFE

2010-02-16T00:52:00.001-08:00

Guess who is the most wanted guy to date in Japan?

OBVIOUSLY IT'S KIM JAE JOONG LA!! =D

I was thinking "Jae Joong la" Then his picture REALLY came out!!!

I love you, more than I do

2010-02-15T09:30:00.000-08:00

Plan to wake up at 9am F.A.I.L.E.D! Actually.. When did it ever succeed?! ARGHH! But the weird part is.. I didn't even remember turning off my alarm!! And... I'm not the kind of person who doesn't remember waking up. Okay... Drama-ed and walked to work! Hehe. Finished That Fool. It's nice! But I still like "You're Beautiful" more. HAHAHA.

Walked to work + Never eat dinner + BUSY BUSY + Got cheated to drink Tiger Beer & Sake = STOMACH ACHE! hahahahahaha. + Tired + Never lose weight =(

I miss Maths! HAHAH Yup. My stomach was GROWLING!! And I had gastric! But I had not choice and continue to work!! Just had a few moments where I pressed on my stomach to try and stop the pain.

Maybe * is right.. I should stop harming my body. I realised that I don't really care what happens to my body.. ( Depends la!! ) Those MAJOR ones, of course I'll care la. But.. I don't really care if I get a cut or headache etc.

-------------------

Gonna wake up early and go Bai Nian tml. But right.. Actually I don't really feel like going out. HAHA. Because I tried my dress just now.. Then I feel DAMN FREAKING fat! So.. I don't feel like going out.

*Seriously feel like going for Lipo*

Kor Kor is going back to AMRY tml! Gonna miss him again!

I'M WEAK!! I saw this slimming product and am S.U.P.E.R TEMPTED TO GET IT! haha

-------------------

*Feel free to skip if you want*

I forgot to rant this a few days ago. Pastor Rony - My pastor, was accused of saying things that made other religion unhappy. He said things that were sensitive to them. And I appeared on the newspaper. I don't understand this. When we accidentally say things sensitive to other religions, we get into trouble. But when other religions say things sensitive to us, we have to forgive and forget. We can't even complain or anything. If I say that I'm alright with people insulting my religion, it's obviously a lie. But I also cannot do anything. I'll just let people say what they want because everyone has their different opinions. They think that their GOD is the best, SO DO I! I think that my Father in Heaven is the BEST OF THE BEST! I LOVED HIM, LOVE HIM AND WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE HIM!

CNY day 2

2010-02-14T07:19:00.001-08:00

Woke up at 12pm to go Bai Nian. Stayed there and ate "vegetarian" =D PROUD OF ME NOT?! hahaha. Stayed till 3 plus and went to watch "Percy Jackson and the lightning thief" with Mummy, Korkor and cousin. HAHA. what a rare combination! HAHA. It was SUPER lucky that we booked the tickets online because.... GV's system was down today!! And the place was FLOODED with people. However, due to the jammed system, they asked those people who have not booked tickets to come back at 5pm. AND, I have no idea why, but GV was flooded? HAHA. Maybe it was due to a leakage somewhere... WELL. It's memorable because I got this.. SUPER old ticket! HAHAH. It's like a pink paper with the time, date and cinema number written down.

LOVED THE SHOW!!! IT WAS AWESOME! SUPER COOL! Haha. 5 stars man! Comedy + Action + Legend/Myth! DEFINITELY MY TYPE! =D Though I might look like a person who only watch romances or chic lite(sp?) kinda show, but I'm not! HAHA. I LOVE action movies!! And like.. Harry Potter and stuff? Which usually girls don't. Lol. That is why I have to tag along with my brother for these kind of movies.

Went back to Grandmother's house to have reunion dinner. Lou Yu Sheng-ed and talked to my cousins. Haha. Today was slighty better. I have this SUPER cute nephew today, he wore a tiger costume! SUPER CUTE!! He's less than 1 year old, if I'm not wrong. AHAH. SUCH A CUTIE!!

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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

TO

MY

LOVE

KIM JAE JOONG! HAHAHAHA

I know right? I'm crazy in love with him! HEHE. Who asked him to hit that STUPID dolphin note?! And all his CUTENESS!!! My goodness!! And all that Korean dramas!! About celebrities meeting people and fall in love with them! How I wish it could happen to me! =( HAHA. But it's a D.R.E.A.M la. It's impossible

SO... I'm gonna save my love for someone else. HAHAHA.

Tonight

Take my hand, hold me tight, and take a rest in my heart so that
you might feel the heat simmering in.

I can't take it. Your small shaking makes me want to put you on
and never take you off.

Stolen my soul Stolen my heart, I'm filled with you so much that
I can't breathe. Like a small child caught in the rain. Like
the love sprinkled on the earth.. like tonight..

Your embrace is warm like the early morning sunlight.

Now I know why those people are saying "love is blind"
I believe my heart belongs to you. I love you more than I do..

Like a fireball you're spreading a fire in my heart.

I love you When I saw you, when I touch you, when I feel you
When I fall in love. You've got an endless passion.

Stolen my soul Stolen my heart, I'm filled with you so much that
I can't breathe. Like a small child caught in the rain. Like
the love sprinkled on the earth.. like tonight..

I can feel you living and breathing inside of me to the fullest.

I don't have the courage to face these deep feelings.
The love that you've given me is slowly swallowing me.

I know, our love's a miracle... You ease the pain in me
and slowly the pain becomes my delight.. My love can be.

Stolen my soul Stolen my heart, I'm filled with you so much that
I can't breathe. Like a small child caught in the rain. Like
the love sprinkled on the ground.. like tonight..

Your embrace is warm like the early morning sunlight.

Stolen my soul Stolen my heart, You're filled in me so much.
I can't breathe. Like a small child caught in the rain. Like
the love sprinkled on the ground.. like tonight..

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Gonna sleep early tonight and wake up tml to exercise!!
CNY = EXTRA FATNESS!

Please make me laugh 10 times

2010-02-13T07:38:00.000-08:00

I felt so brave yesterday! HAHA. With huiwen =D We did something that I didn't even imagine we would do! I didn't even think it was possible for us to do it! Haha. Climbed into school and though I found it quite fun and outrageous but... I GOT many injuries and and.. My poor skirt got torn! =( SOOO upset can! I just bought that skirt from H&M hk and I really really liked it!! I'm gonna bring it to the tailor's to mend it after CNY. =(

Watched the Dance performance and I think Dance had really improved =D I'm really proud of them!! KAMBATEH NEH JUNIORS =D. I'll continue to go back to support you guys!! I wanna form a group of NAS alumni dancers =D Then maybe we'll be able to perform for Ngee Ann Tapestry? HEHE. We're gonna rock the school with dance man!! Let them know that they should not have looked down on us last time!

Ban mian-ed with Huiwen and LJing,Ada,WeiHao,Ernest. Went with WeiHao to cut his hair and went to ICC for ICE CREAM =D YEAH! I have not been to ICC for a LONG while! If I'm not wrong, the last time I went was obviously with Huiwen! HAHA. And it should be after my tuition at PP =D Miss those old days! And we would just sit there and start talking and talking until around 10 plus 11. Since it was a friday,we could stay up late.

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I'm going to avoid alcohol for a WHILE. Haha. After yesterday's experience, MY GOODNESS! I thought that I waas gonna die. HAHA. Not that bad la, but I don't like having a headache and the feeling of wanting to vomit. I had no choice but to force myself to vomit out. And I vomited 6 times. Not gonna drink on an empty stomach! But I want to train my alcohol resistance level =D

Party was fun =D Loved DARE OR DARE. Haha. And I love it when we do exciting things!! Cause it's FUN =D Like I said before, I like it when we don't do normal dares HAHA. After dare or dare, they played "Big fish small fish" and "Go jump go, go jump back" Haha.

Didn't manage to take any photos yesterday!! Sad! =( Then my blog will be filled with words AGAIN.

Talked to Huiwen, Audrey and Liang Rong at my house until 3-ish? It was quite fun and funny. Haha =D Slept all the way till 2 today!! Oh my goodness!! I better change my body clock back!! I'M GOING TO SLEEP AND WAKE UP FOR CHURCH TML!

And... part of my "stopping to drink alcohol" plan is also to put my parents at ease. Later they might think that I've become a BAD girl hahaha.

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Had reunion dinner today. It wasn't as fun as last time =( Maybe this is part of growing up? I don't know.. But.. I really wonder whether it is me or what? Why am I not close to my cousins, uncles and aunties? And.. year after year, I really can feel like we're becoming further and further apart. Though I might look like a friendly person who can just talk to anyone anytime, but actually I'm not. Like today, I just sat down on the sofa and watched TV because I had no one to talk to. =( X 10000000

Hope that tml will be better. SMILE ESTHER!

Random : I feel like renovating my room!! I don't know why but suddenly I like the colour yellow =D HAHAHA. Maybe it's because of my love for Sunflowers?

Thank you for the flower =D Really love it and appreciate it! <3

LET'S HAVE SOME DBSK LOVE CAN WE? =D HHAA

*SCREAMS at JaeJoong at his dolphin note!!*

My Ear Candy

2010-02-09T07:58:00.000-08:00
Have been working for the past few days. Met Huiwen today =D MISS HER MUCH. Though it has only been a few days since I last saw her, but I miss her already! HAHA. Miss ALL my girls!! Nvm =D This friday!! They will be coming over! YIPPIE.

Went to PP with Huiwen and did some stuff and checked out something. Hehe. Had dinner and I left for work. Saw Ada and Sara Lynn there! haha.

I was washing this glass and it broke! Cut my finger. haha. I think that I'm the only person who laughs and smiles when they get injured. haha. Cause they were asking me whether it hurts then I was just like laughing and saying no. Haha, but actually, I was kinda shocked at how much blood there was when I only had a cut. Haha. Had to use a few tissues.

My life has been BORING and I have not shopped for CNY clothes.. So.. I guess that I just have to get them online then =( IT'S SAD... haha. I want more like... shirts? To match shorts. My blog is BORING without pics!!

I wonder if my resistance to alcohol increased already or not. HAHA.

Proud of your love

2010-02-06T09:44:00.001-08:00
I don't like the way I am =( Still weak weak weak! =( I failed to accomplish one of my New Year Resolution, that is to become stronger emotionally. Why do I always feel like crying? Why are my tear glands like.. Hyper active?! I thought I became stronger but I was wrong. I'm still me, the old me. I couldn't overcome my weakness. Disappointed in myself.

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Didn't get to see Eyecandy at work today =( He reported sick and went on MC. Actually, 3 people were on MC today!!Work today was.. horrrendous. =( The starting was okay. However, later the system jammed! So... all the orders were like messed up =( I was already damn stressed because I did a few wrong orders and I couldn't read some of their handwriting! So I had to spend time to go and ask them! Later, I couldn't wash my things because I had to help clear the tables, which I did slowly =( Because I'm SO not used to cleaning tables. And.. again, I was alone in the pantry, with no one to help. It was super obvious that I was upset and stressed because the chef and dishwasher kept asking me "Are you okay?" and "Smile! =D" I'm really grateful to them =D

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I have so many things to do and I don't know if I can find the time to do so or not.... I need to write my "To do list" again =D and "To Buy List". Complexion is not getting better =( Now, it's getting dry! Need to change my moisturizer AGAIN. Because this one is not... very good. =( I suddenly feel like buying a Polariod. HAHA so random. And a DSLR =D I should drag my father into Best Denki one day when he is in a good mood. HAHA. Gonna do New Year shopping with my parents tml but this New Year shopping is not for clothes, but food. We need to prepare for this CNY eve and CNY. Shall attempt to bake something for my relatives, if I have the time. I better write out a timetable YEAH!! It has been LONG since I wrote a time table. I feel like studying!! =( Suddenly I WANT TO STUDY! lol. How I wish I had this feeling when I was studying for my O's. Better start doing some studying by myself.

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Is this feeling Love? Or not. Confused

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XIAH JUNSU IS COMING TO SINGAPORE!! =D HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUN HO ( U-KNOW ) Always keep the faith!!

Believe in fate

2010-02-06T08:28:00.000-08:00
I'M FAINTING =D
I just read about an article about JaeJoong and we have SOOO much in common =D

- Favourite Movie "Moulin Rouge" SAME SAME SAME! And it's really amazing because up till now, I haven't found ANYONE who have watched this show.. Besides my brother and.. Rachel. (
I remembered cause I was shocked)

- Like to cook =D

- WE HAVE THE SAME TYPE OF ALARM CLOCK =D He got a shock everytime it woke him up!! SAME SAME! I have been complaining that I always get a shock by my clock! =D

And!! He said that he wants to compose,play and sing for his future girlfriend! =D That was what I always wanted my future Boyfriend to do!!! FAINTED!

I WILL GIVE MY LOVE TO YOU KIM JAE JOONG! =D

Lovin you

2010-02-05T08:12:00.000-08:00
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY LIUJING!! =D

THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A NICE FRIEND THAT ALWAYS COMFORTS ME WHEN I NEED SUPPORT!! Though we only got closer recently but I'm really happy that I spent the 4 years of my life in NAS with you!! =D Don't give up on your dream of becoming a dance instructor okay!! =D I'll support you always!! Thanks for liking BigBang with me too! HAHAHA!! And.. just THANKS for always being you! =D The you that is SO BHB, and dance whenever you feel like. Thanks for being the person that you have been!

Went to watch "ToothFairy" with Huiwen yesterday =D It's really funny. HAHA. You can go and watch it if you need a laugh. But I got abit irritated by the male lead? HAHA. But fairy tales always have a happy ending, so yup. haha. Headed down to Pasir Ris Park for LJing's birthday party. After we got there, huiwen, Ada, Joselyn and I started talking, and the WIND was SOOOOO STRONG! And it lasted for... HOURS. haha. I was so cold that I had to borrow LJing's jacket! THANK YOU. Haha. Then I found it weird, because that was the first time I wore a jacket in a beach! Like... who wears jackets in a beach? HAHA.

The fire took a L.O.N.G while to start.
LJing got.... made fun of by the boys. haha
Am starting to write in point form because I think my sentences doesn't link.
Lied to them that I got into SP =D HAHA
Drank Vodka + Orange. Am proud of my good mixing skills =D
Played "Dare or dare" Was quite fun =D Because I think this is the first time I did different things? Usually my "dares" are quite similiar. This one is a little more... open? HAHA. But fun la!! Since we're already 17 =D
Cake baked for LJing was a F.A.I.L.U.R.E! So upset with myself! =(
At least he ate one mouth =D Am happy!!!
Stayed at Pasir Ris Park till around 4 plus am.
Got home around 5am and slept till 2pm! BROKE MY RECORD!
Now 2pm is the LATEST!!
Work today!! Zy Jul and Aud came over for dinner =D MISS THE MUCH!! Juline said I got fatter! S.H.I.T HER! HAHAHA Die la die la!! MUST BE THE CHOCOLATE I ATE YESTERDAY!! HAHA.

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EH!! Am currently at Facebook and liked Xuemin's status! D.I.E LA!! ALL THE 4R5s LIKE SNSD MORE THAN DBSK!! I CANNOT LET SNSD WIN!! HAHAHA!! Just because they are pretty, cute. BUT DBSK HAS THE TALENT AND ARE HANDSOME!! OH! Anyway =D In SNSD only 3 of them didn't go for plastic surgery. HAHAHAHA

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Things that I'm going to do:
- Learn Japanese
- Go for Baking Lessons
- L.O.S.E WEIGHT!!
- Get a better complexion! Haha.
- Decorate my room before CNY party next week
- Prepare the CNY party next year
- Date someone for CNY shopping?

Valentine's day is coming! Haha. I bet everyone is looking forward to it even though it's Chinese New Year on that day too. But.. it's Valentine's! Who doesn't like Valentine's? Me. Haha. I don't know why, maybe I'm not fated to have a good day on Valentine's day. Every Valentine, I'll definitely have some problem. Something that will make me cry. I wonder if it'll happen again this year or anot? But I highly doubt so, because I'll be at my Grandmother's house eating the reunion dinner.

Want to get the pictures from yesterday but don't know how to. HAHA

Adult fare!!! =(

2010-02-01T08:56:00.000-08:00
Just came back from work and drank at Waraku. OMG. They let me drink Umeshu Plum Wine and I drank 2 and a half cups. Then after I got home, I felt giddy. Cause I forgot that I drank on an empty stomach!! And I drank it too quickly! Then I just found out that it's 35% alcohol. But it was really nice!! Tasted like plum + grape + sprite. HAHAHA.

When I got home!! GUESS WHAT I HEARD!! "DEE"!! SINGLE "DEE"!! = ADULT FARE!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! I MISS MY "DEE DEE" ALREADY!! I MISS IT!!! SOB SOB

A friend's confession

2010-01-31T05:34:00.001-08:00
Okay. So I regretted not going for SHINee's autograph session =( I should have rushed down to meet my brother after work yesterday!! He seemed to have SO MUCH fun! =( KEY ONEW TAEMIN JONG HYUN AND MINHO!! I SHOULD HAVE WENT!!! OMG!

I'm scared!! I just changed one of my face brand and my cheeks turned red after I used it!! =( HOW?! I don't want a break out!! sobsob. I still have a makeover to do before I get into Poly! Die die die!! I don't want to go in Poly as the "Fat + Ugly" Esther!!! PRAY THAT NOTHING BAD HAPPENS TO MY FACE!

Iris-ed the whole day! Feel so fat and lazy! HAHAHA

Please don't forget, I'm waiting for you

2010-01-30T10:46:00.000-08:00
Woke up at 1pm today!! LATE LATE LATE! I still feel uneasy waking up so late. Haha. Watched Iris and LOVE IT!! Another Korean Drama that you CAN'T miss!! It's different from You're Beautiful. Iris is more ACTION/THRILL =D L.O.V.E IT! And it's only 16 eps! Not too draggy! After watch Japanese Dramas, I got used to 9-14 eps already. HAHA.

Worked from 6-11:30pm. There were still customers even at 11pm!! And it was our closing time! Okay.

I forgot to blog about this yesterday. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT eat any meal with Juline Lim! HAHA. She made Huiwen and I look SUPERRRRRRRRR unglam! SERIOUSLY! Luckily there were not one else, if not it would have been SUPER embarassing! I have an image to keep okay! HAHA.

Collegues told me that school will start on 19 April, so it meant that I still have around.... 2 and a half more months? I feel like going on a trip again. AHAHA. And I'm gonna start dance & Japanese class! CONFIRM PLUS CHOP LE! Hehehehehe. I need to keep myself busy and LOSE WEIGHT! It has been in my New Year Resolution for like.. EVER? hahah.

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Random :
I think people will think that I'm crazy because I will just suddenly think of some funny random incidents and I'll start smiling/laughing at myself. HAHA.

Korkor is at the mall now waiting for SHINee. HAHAHA, once in a life time experience? HEHEH. I don't know how it will be like if DBSK come to Singapore. HAHA. I think I'll wait at the mall 2 days before their event! HEHE

I'm just saying stupid things again

2010-01-29T06:20:00.000-08:00
Had lunch with Huiwen at Tmart =D Ban Mian!! HEHE. Went back to school today to take the testmonial. It felt quite weird going back because everyone was like looking at us? HAHA because we wore home clothes. Yup. Went to get our testimonials and saw a few teachers =D I kinda miss NAS now =( How?! HAHA. But I think I want to go back for CNY!! Cause Dance will be performing! I shall be a good senior and support them! =D Went shopping with HW @ Tmall and PP.

Suddenly I miss orientation =( The sec 1 one!! I don't know why. But after I heard Zy and Jul talking about orientation, I suddenly miss school!! I still have to wait till April! Ah, whatever. I wanna start dancing again. DEFINITELY WILL ATTEND LESSONS AGAIN! I need to take up lessons before I start Poly, if not the audition will be a WASTE of time. I'm scared.. LIKE SERIOUSLY, I didn't go for ANY audition before!! HOW?!! I'm like super scared. And my skills are seriously LOUSY but I wanna dance. =( Gonna spend the next few months with Clique + Class? But they'll be busy =( Haiz. Though I'm not very close to my class people, but I don't want to split with them. =(

Okay. Enough of that. I LOSE WEIGHT =D But I think after I went out today, I gained it back! BYE. I'M UNHAPPY AND SICK AND TIRED OF BEING FAT! Shall save up money and go for LIPO.

A New Journey

2010-01-27T05:42:00.001-08:00
Well. By this time, everyone would have known their posting results. So.. for those who are going JC, they'll have to report to school tomorrow! This will be the start of a new journey for them, while I.. have to wait till April =D haha. Have to work tml - FULL! Thanks to my stranded phone. HAHAHA. okay. Well. I guess it's good? Because I stayed home the WHOLE day today and I just sat on the sofa and watched TV! How unhealthy and fatty this can get!

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Talked to Papa and Mummy about some stuff today. Glad that I got it off my chest. "Quarrelled" with them yesterday because they can just push the blame to me for NO REASON. Even my brother agreed. It was like... I called my mother and told her that I'll be eating Lunch at the airport. Then when I arrived in S'pore, I called my father to bao ping an, then I told him about eating at the airport and he started scolding me saying that he is very tired and wants to sleep and saying that I have bad planning and give up on me. FINE LA! So I told him to sleep and I had to take Cab alone back home.

Then when I reached home. I quickly went to pack my stuff and he came down and complained about the house being very messy and blah blah blah. MY FAULT AGAIN?! What the hell la. He just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and HAD to scold me for no reason. My brother said "What's with him being in such a bad mood" HOW I KNOW?! Then my mother came home and my brother told her that my father was in a bad mood then guess what she said, "What did Esther do?" OMG!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I JUST CAME HOME, PACKED MY STUFF AND WENT TO WATCH TV! DO I GET BLAMED FOR THAT TOO?! WHAT THE HELL LA! I ALREADY HAD SUCH A STRESSFUL TIME IN HONG KONG AT THE MORNING, RUSHING RUSHING AND RUSHING! I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD HAVE A NICE AND PEACEFUL TIME AT HOME! Luckily I had class dinner yesterday. Let me go out and have fun! THEY DON'T CONSIDER MY FEELINGS AT ALL

Am gonna stay away from trips for a while. If I want to go, I'll take tours next time.

Hong Kong Trip

2010-01-26T22:37:00.000-08:00
Day 1
Reached there in the afternoon and went to my mother's house. Left our luggages there and went to Causeway Bay to shop.

Day 2
Headed down to H&M! =D L.O.V.E IT TO THE MAXXXXXXXXX =D I spent $1.2K HKD there!! Which is like SGD$200. But seriously, the things there are awesome! And it's not as expensive as Topshop. H&M IS AWESOME!! HEHEHEHE. Left for Mong Kok after that and shopped.

Day 3
Went to Tsim Sha Tsui and back to Mong Kok to shop.

Day 4
OCEAN PARK! Went there and played from 11am - 6pm. Didn't manage to sit all the rides. But ONE ride was enough =D and that ride was "The Dragon" with... JULINE LIM PEI LI and audrey. =D haha But JULINE is the female lead for this ride!! I didn't even realised that it ended and I couldn't even concentrate on the ride because of her! HHAHAHA. But it was seriously worth it. Went to JUSCO after that because we were tired so we didn't manage to go to The Peak and Avenue of Stars. =(

Then it was SHOPPING all the way. Especially for food. HAHA. Went to Sai Kung to eat Seafood on Sunday NIGHT and it was the FUNNIEST dinner EVER!! Haha. Because the waiters there kept talking to us. and it was also because we were like the last group there. HAHA but they were really nice. =D They kept entertaining us. HAHAHAHAHHA.

Shall upload the pictures later. MY COM GOT VIRUS!!!!!! luckily it's okay

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAE JOONG

2010-01-26T08:15:00.000-08:00
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAE JOONG!! =D
I L.O.V.E YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Will update about the Hong Kong trip another day. This post is JUST for Kim Jae Joong =D

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY!

2010-01-16T10:40:00.000-08:00
Only look at me

Worked yesterday and today. Today will be the last time Zy and I will be working with each other.. =( It's kinda sad. Though I know that we'll still be meeting each other but it's sad that I won't be meeting her at 4.30pm at PP for dinner anymore. =( and no one will be walking with me to ECP anymore. Haiz, well I guess that this is life right? Nothing will be forever.

Work today was quite fun. Haha. Worked with my eye candy ma!! =D HAHA. Okay la, I defend myself first, he is not THAT handsome okay!LOL. But I just think that he's a very nice guy =D And like very fun & very comfortable to be with. Yup.

Am gonna start packing my luggage on Sunday! Haha. =D I think that this is the first time I care so much about what I dress when I'm overseas because usually I will not care. HAHA Like because no one there knows you, so you don't need to wear until so nice. But I have no idea why I'm figuring out my outfits for the trip there! HAHA

NIGHT NIGHT!

2010-01-14T22:57:00.000-08:00
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE! HAHA no la.
I THINK TAEYANG - BIGBANG IS SOOOOOO COOL!

PLEASE LA! OMG! HE DANCES SO GENTLY WITH GIRLS!! DAMN H.O.T PLEASE! I WANT TO DANCE THIS DANCE WITH HIM!! H.O.T!

But I love my JaeJoong more HEHE

2010-01-14T21:20:00.000-08:00
My heart is calling

I've submitted my JAE form already! Haha. I didn't expect me to submit it on the LAST day! =D Okay. Now I just have to wait for the sms on 29th Jan. I have been having weird dreams for a few days, okay, maybe it's not weird but very random dreams. HAHA. Yesterday I just dreamt of the girls and I going to HK but I forgot to bring the E tickets! LOL. Then I was so scared. Okay, I better make sure that I wil bring it on that day!! =D Quite excited now for the HK trip! OH reminds me, I better go and do the itinerary for our trip! And list down the things that I'm going to buy there! HEHE. Okay.. Now I think of it, I'm excited to pack my luggage!! =D HAHAHA. AND of course, THE SHOPPING!! =D Since I'll be going to Poly, I have to stock up many many clothes!! HAHA.

Another dream is... even more random. HAHA okay, but I don't think I'll say it here, cause it's like abit.. bad? Okay whatever.

Got to work at 6pm later.

2010-01-14T10:18:00.000-08:00
Last Farewell

Woke up at 12pm today! So late!! SERIOUSLY, never trust me when I say that I'm going to exercise in the morning! HAHAH. Okay, finished "GTO - Great Teacher Onizuka" and I LOVE this show! =D Really nice and warming HAHAHA. NICE NICE NICE! =D I encourage everyone to go watch it!! =D It's like.. quite like reality? Because sometimes, all the school thinks about is, reputation and their position.

ZiYing came over to do her JAE admission and I couldn't decide! HAHAHA then I started ticking the same subjects and almost all are the same! LOL. Okay, went to PP, bought Koi and shopped for a while. Gave Bel her Koi that I owed her due to a bet! STUPID IDIOTIC BET haha. Okay, then went to Bedok 85 to eat with the class =D LOVE LOVE LOVE.

After eating, we went to playground to play. HAHAHA something damn funny and embarrasing happened. Cause there was this... spinning thing ma, so we were all on it. Then one by one they just left while it was still spinning, then I was the only one left up there! Then the whole thing was spinning so fast that I FLEW OUT of the spinning thing! HAHAHA. It was DAMN FUNNY, they all thought I was crying but in fact, I was laughing like crazy. Haha. Luckily I didn't have much injuries. I only had one..... injury but I totally forgot about it and I accidentally scrubbed it while showering. HAHAHA. After that, the few of us played ICE AND WATER!! =D Seriously DAMN DAMN FUN!! It's like... I totally forgot about my JAE admission thing. Haha. Seriously, I want to thank them to make me feel so carefree again!! =D Okay but seriously, I almost fell a few times because I was running on.."heels" like SUPER SUPER SUPER short ones. But still not very comfortable running with that. HAHA. Played "Split" and it was fun! HAHA. I realised that I'm quite good at scissors paper stone! LOL. I won a few times because of it. Like.. I didn't need to split much? I just kept winning the scissors paper stone. HEHEHE. Gideon - I'll be waiting for you to beat me in it! HEHEHE

Cabbed home =D and was discussing with Papa about my JAE admission and.. I'VE DECIDED, ON MY OWN!

I'M
GOING
TO
TEMASEK POLY!

Haha, reason - So what if the course/lecturer in this school might not be as good as SP? It's not like TP is THAT VERY lousy ya. Because the course structure is almost the same, so I think that if I put in my best effort, I'll still be able to do well! Afterall, your hard work pays off right?! So, if I get into TP - Hospitality & Tourism I'll really work hard!! Because I want to show other people that, even though you might be in a "not as good" school, with hard work, determination and perserverance, you'll be able to do well! =D

2010-01-13T08:10:00.000-08:00
Baby my heart beats for you.

Woke up at 9.30am today. I wanted to wake up at 10.30pm but my alarm clock had problem and rang every 5 mins!! ABCDEFG! Ate leftovers from yesterday for lunch and met Huiwen =D 12.30pm HEHEHE we're early!! Went to CityPlaza then Movie =D Old Dogs. I think it's quite nice! Very funny and meaningful, the only bad thing was that I was SUPER cold! I ate SUPER much today! So upset/unhappy with myself. =( I don't even feel like weighing myself today. Okay.. Went to Bugis then to People's Park. And Huiwen bought her luggage =D HAHA. I did Pedi today. And now I think it's abit ugly. HAHAH! okay la.. Sometimes I think it's nice, sometimes I think it's ugly. Fickle me. Shopped around there and had dinner =D One thing I like to hang out with Huiwen is that... we go to different places. HAHA. Like we can go to a few places in one day. HEHEHE. Walked home from Bedok MRT today because I felt DAMN FREAKING FAT!! And though I didn't know how long I took but I saw 2 bus 16 pass me LOL. But it felt GREAT. haha. ESTHER PLEASE SLIM DOWN! Actually, I think Huiwen is DAMN irritated! HAHA. Cause I KEPT complaining about my fatness today, HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE IN HK?! with all that FOOD! lol. Then I kept asking her questions like "What if I become some fat pig?!" "Why can't I be born skinny?" "What if I become as fat as - " LOL. I swear she can slap me anytime!! =D

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Have everyone submitted their form already? I'm confused! I don't know which school I want to go!! TP or SP?! Then suddenly I saw two more courses that I'm interested in just now!! HOW HOW HOW?! I discussed with my father and he said "Both school also good leh" THIS IS NOT HELPING. haha. And should I put "SAJC" as one of my choice?! HAHA. But my brother said that I'll die there. HAHA. But no harm putting it right? One thing I really like in that school is their DANCE! It ROCKS! Seriously.. I'm like a PEA compared to them. This is one thing that my WHOLE family agrees - for me to not go JC. Haha. Heard from my family that studying for A levels is even harder than UNI. And now.. When I look at the courses I'm interested in, I feel SO excited to start it! I don't think I will feel like this for studying right? HAHA. I think I'm either going to submit it on thurs night or fri. AHHAHA. But fri abit dangerous, what if I wake up late or something? HAHA. Okay, the ONE TRILLION QUESTION "TP OR SP?!"

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Am having class dinner tml! =D Thurs 14Jan. I FEEL SO FREAKING FAT! Please remember to pray for bad appetite everyday! =D

2010-01-12T00:13:00.000-08:00
You're my melody

Got results back yesterday and I don't really know what I was feeling, Dissappointed or happy? But I think I'm happy overall =D I just like to tell everyone that hardwork DO pay off. I'm a living testimonial. Look at my A maths, I've been failing every single time since sec 3. With results like 3/20 once.. I even got 0/30. But when I got my results yesterday, when I saw a B3 I just cried immediately. The happiness was overwhelming. Then Ms Tiong and Mr Lai said "I'm glad that you didn't drop A Maths" But it took REALLY hard work. I went to my tuition teacher's house every day in the morning and after exam, I'll go at night. I practiced my TYS like crazy. lol

But seriously la. STUPID POA!! SO ANGRY. but whatever, I should be happy with my results already =D I have to practice what I preached, I'll accept whatever results I get.

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I don't know what's going on with me. I think I'm starting to dislike myself. I dislike myself for being so fat, so... useless. Everytime when I look into the mirror or when I look at my legs, I'll start feeling demoralised. Everytime after I eat my meal, I'll start hating myself, thinking "WHY DID I EVEN EAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!" I should have just starve myself. Everytime when I'm hungry and when I'm thinking of food, I'll start scolding myself "You're already so fat! Stop thinking of food" I really don't know how I can help myself anymore. I lost 3kg but I gained back 1kg yesterday and I just started freaking out like crazy! I started to think to exercising like crazy and to stop eating. But everytime, I wouldn't be able to resist temptation! Why am I like this?! I don't know. Why can't I just be borned skinny like other people? Why must I go through all the hardship just to lose weight and look normal.

2010-01-10T05:28:00.000-08:00
Path designated for each individual

Today:
I... FAILED to wake up for church =( SO UPSET with myself. I can just wake up, off my alarm and go back to sleep! =( I want to start attending the the Youth Service at Lighthouse because after I left my home church when I was able sec1, I haven't felt.. like I settled down. I still feel as if I'm wandering around different churches. HAHA. I want to settle down in one church and stay there.

Went for roller blading with Calvin and Mindy =D Met them at around 1.45pm then headed over to Pasir Ris Park. Blade til 4.45pm and SERIOUSLY, Calvin is crazy! This is only his 3rd time blading and he's already so good in it!! Perfectionist much? haha. Mindy!! Overcome your fear k! =D

Went to Elias Mall to get a drink then headed home. Had dinner with family and were talking about results tml. Haha, my father was so nice =D He said "I have confidence in you". I felt really good when he said that because it showed that I have his support and do not feel SO pressurised. And we talked about my brother when he got his results 2 years ago. GOD will guide me and bless me =D I will accept whatever result that I'll get and continue with life.

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I bet everyone is super anxious now because of results tml. Well, I'm no exception, but I think I'm more calm than I thought I would be. HAHA. I seriously thought that I'll be thinking about it ALL day, but thanks to roller blading today, I got my mind of it. =D The results are already there, it's already printed and might already be in school. We can't change the past, and the present but we can change the future. I don't lnow what result I'll get tml and I know that it'll be difficult to accept the result if it's bad. I know that I will not be able to do whatever that I'm preaching now because it's not easy. Whatever that I will be typing here will be so common to all of you but it's the fact. There is no point to be sad over our results because firstly, do you think you deserve it? Did you put in enough effort for O levels? I can truthfully admit that I didn't. Now.. when I look back, I realised that I could have actually put in so much more effort. I could study like crazy. Though I did sacrifice my TV and Com but I still think that I could have put in more effort.

Like my title says, "Path designated for each individual", everyone has their own path to take. Everyone will definitely face some troubles in life. If I'm not wrong, I think I wrote this before, my pastor told me that "The RIGHT path is NOT the easiest, but in fact it's the HARDEST". Many people will tend to want to give up their dream when they find it too difficult to continue, but it might be the right path for them. So all they have to do is to continue trying, and one day, their hardwork will be paid off! I just watched American Idol season 8 and listened to "No boundaries" again, the song really had a lot of meaning inside it. "When you almost gave up on your dream, take it by the hand, show it that you can"

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Maybe sometimes, we might be jealous of people, but that's quite normal? I too, envy and get jealous of my friends. They always look so perfect and I'm the only imperfect one within our clique. Especially in terms of size, (Juline, I'm complimenting you! =D ) Everytime when we go out, there's no one time when I won't feel that I'm fat and ugly. I think that they are reading this but I just want to thank you girls for always being there for me =D I know that tml we're getting out results and most likely we'll be going our seperate ways. Some will get in JCs and some will be going to Poly but different courses. I've always been envious of each and everyone of you.

Huiwen - The PRETTY one and her studies are good too!!
Audrey - The joker that livens up our ambience =D
Zi Ying - The smart one and is NOT fat ( which she claims )
Juline - The fun one to be with =D I always feel embarrassed (in a FUN way) with her
Qiu Yin - The super hardworking one.

Thank you for the years together!! Audrey - 10 years, 11 this year! HAHA Ziying - 9, 10 this year. Juline 8, 9 this year. Qiuyin - 6, 7 this year. Huiwen - 5, 6 this year. HAHA.

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What we can do now is to NOT worry about the results too much because it's unchangeable. I know how tough it is to accept it if it's bad, like my SYF. I took about 1 week to get over it but now that I look back, I think I'm so childish. It's just SYF, what's the big deal about it?! Haha. I'm still young!! I still have so many more competition that I can join if I continue dancing. SYF is just some minor competition (HAHA!) So what if we didn't get Gold or Gold with Honours, it's the experience that counts right?! And I'm going to go back to NAS to help my juniors for their next SYF! I felt that the "Silver" that we got kinda brought us closer together? Because at that time, all of us were really sad, so we needed each other's support =D And I will definitely not forget Miss Jane. =D She's a really GREAT dance teacher & dancer. I really thank her for giving me SO many opportunities to perform. One of them, I almost got to dance with her! Which is an honour. She did ask me to perform in a dance in a musical ( MY DREAM! ) but because of my O levels, I couldn't. Though it's quite sad, but it's common sense to reject it for O levels. LOL. But I believe that I will have more opportunities to dance in a musical or something in a BIG concert hall =D Where people will have to pay hundreds to see =D HEHEHE.

OKAY. I have to get back to the point!! HAHA. Let's all just........ relax and calmly go and get our results tml! JIA YOU EVERYONE!! GOOD LUCK! =D

No matter what results you get, remember, there will always be a path designated for you!!

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[EDITED]
Did I mention about work yesteryday =D Eye candy was at work! HAHA. It was so PS seeing him. And there was one funny part!! Cause I was at the pantry (as usual), eye candy was wiping the plates and the pervert came in. Then my manager called this girl, "Ah Mei". Then the pervert was like "Ah Mei, April, May". *LAUGHES* Me : =.=!! Eye Candy: =.=!! Then we looked at each other and laughed! LOL. Seriously, I think he is like in his own world sometimes. And if he's going to block my way when I'm serving one more time, I'm going to slap his face!! Haha.

2010-01-08T09:49:00.001-08:00
Angel with a broken wing

Yesterday:
Went to SP and NAP's open house with Huiwen =D NAP was.. boring. HAHA. Seriously, it was quite disorganised too. =S I kinda prefer SP =D There were SOO many people at SP!! Found out more about the course that I was interested in.. And actually, I think I won't mind going SP if I really want the course though it's.. SUPER far. But.. it's good to change the people around me also ya? If not.. I might see some people that I don't really feel comfortable with. If I go to SP, I might be able to start my life anew there.

Oh. I saw Shamella - my dance senior - when going to SP! =D Miss her much! So glad to see her again. Haha

Went to Bugis with her after that and we bought this high waisted jeans =D I love it!! But I'm REALLY scared to wear it because.. I had this SUPER HORRIBLE incident with high waisted shorts. Seriously, I looked as if, I was 10X fatter or something. Okay, I hope that this one will make me look skinny! Headed to PP after that, and went to see our luggages =D I think I most likely will be getting... either the red or green one HAHA. Both looked quite branded so = quite trustable. I already asked Mummy and I realised that her luggages are 2X or more expensive than mine. HAHA. Her's are like..HKD2000. Haha. But she's working and earning a lot of money la!! So her's must definitely be more expensive than mine.

Today:
Went to get my Minibits pay!! =D SO HAPPY. Haha. Then went to meet Huiwen and went to Tmart to eat her banmian. I miss going to Tmart =( haha. Met the girls at 3pm. ZY didn't go because she was sick. So... we went to TP! Thank you Jonas for being there to be our Tour Guide. Seriously, if not I think we'll be like statues. HAHA. I went to hear SOO many courses today and I seriously DON'T KNOW what to choose. HAHAHA. When I saw the fashion design, I suddenly feel like going there again =( But I HIGHLY doubt I can do well in it. So that will just remain as my dream inside my heart =) So... for the next few days, I think I'll just sit down and seriously decide on which course I really want to take. I'm gonna pray hard too so that I will not make the wrong decision.

After the TP open house, we went to Tmall/T1. Then headed down to Bedok85 and home =D Love the simple talks with the girls. Like... time can just pass SO quickly when we're talking. HAHA.

Got to work tml. Haha

*2 more days* Worried SICK.

2010-01-06T08:50:00.000-08:00
Tired of waiting

Work today from 12pm - 11pm. Had Mac breakfast for lunch and had to eat dinner alone at PP =( Haha. I didn't eat much but I felt DAMN fat!! Seriously. I think I'm gaining weight =( I ate 1/4 bowl of rice with around 5 small pieces of sausage and 3 pieces of tofu. I hope I can continue this diet =D =D Or eat even lesser. I got scolded at work today =( It wasn't entirely my fault, but whatever. Encouragement from Cal =D Thank you so much!

Went to find Aud when I was having break. She taught me how to use the shake board thing and I think it's super fun! =D BUT, I still can't move with it. LOL. I'm gonna finish learning soon. HEHE. And I think it really helps your leg muscles, because I felt a strain in my right leg after trying it out for... 15 mins? LOL. Then she went home while I went back to work.

I'm scared of this guy at work. He's... pervertic! LOL. All my collegues told me to be careful of him. Then sometimes, he will just start talking to me and laugh ( When I don't even think it's funny at all! ) So I'll just smile and continue with my work. Then today he kept saying " Mei ban fa, wo men liang ge hen you yuan fen " I was like "ABCDEFG?!" I said "Eeyer" with a smile ( Unfortunately) Though I actually meant it. AHAHAH.

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Am SOOO tempting to buy the 55cm Pig Rabbit =( Should I buy it?! But I have to clear my room of toys first! I need to get a box or something to stuff all of them. HAHA. If not, I have no more space to put it already. SERIOUSLY, my room is like a toy kingdom. LOL. But! I'm 17 this year ( Sounds damn old please! ) So, I've got to grow up and give my toys away, or if I can, sell them so that I can earn money and it'll help me compensate my Pig Rabbit (Compensating error) HAHAHA. Or does anyone want to sponsor me? =D Hohoho. OH. Did I mention I got a Pig Rabbit keychain?! =D It's from QY!! It's my christmas gift! I'm SOO HAPPY =D HEHE. It's damn cute!! Though the ears are freaking short. LOL but it's still damn cute. Gonna put it on every bag that I use. HEHE.

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Sometimes in life, you just got to lower your expectations of yourself, so that you won't be hoping too much. If you carry too much hope in you, the disapppointment will be harder to handle and a bigger impact. Therefore, I'm going to start lower my expectations of myself, even though my expectations are already DAMN FREAKING LOW. But it seems that I'm always not happy with myself. I'm so fat, I can't study, My results are so bad, I'm so stupid, My complexion sucks, I'm not pretty, I got so little hair which falls so easily, I got SO many blackheads, I'm so short, I cry so easily, I cannot take scoldings and criticisms(sp?). Haiz. Anything that I do is just... not good.

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GCE O level results releasing on the 11th of January 2010!! WORRIED MUCH!

2010-01-05T10:53:00.000-08:00
Night cycling

Back from class chalet! And hello again to screwed body clock!

Day 2:
Went to watch movie at E!hub. Watched Avatar 3D and it was REALLY good =D I LOVE the graphics! Though I still don't like the creatures but overall, AWESOME! Unfortunately... I dozed off for 5 mins because I didn't sleep at all. And I missed the nice part!! The part where he went to catch his bird. So upset, so I told Bel to wake me up if I ever fall asleep again, which.. I DIDN'T =D Had bowling after that, and I think I suck. HAHA. Damn noob. Like all of them are twice of my score?! Went back to chalet and showered. Attempted to watch The Grudge, and shockingly, I wasn't scared after 5 mins. HAHA. And when the boy appeared, the guys were screaming while I was just sitting down watching it. HAHA. Maybe it was because i was tired, so even the scary face didn't affect me at all. AHAHA. Surprising right?! Everytime I'll be the first one to run when people are watching ghost/horror movies, but I decided to try it out yesterday and I wasn't even scared. LOL, in fact, I found it kinda boring because I was falling asleep. Wanted to go to sleep already when LD and TL came to tell me that they are taking the key, then I found out that TL was going to 4R2's chalet, then I was like "OKAY, I ALSO WANT TO GO" haha. Because my class people were really tired already, so all of them are going to sleep. Then TL and I went to R2's chalet =D WeiHao,TL,Ivan and I went to get a bike because there were not enough bikes for night cycling. It was SOO FUN PLEASE. WH was riding me on his bike and I seriously L.OV.E.D it!! =D It was so AWESOME. Haha. I have to say one thing, he is an AWESOME CYCLIST. Haha. There were a few times when I thought that we were going to crash but then we didn't! And cycling at night is fun because there are no cars =D And the wind is so cooling!

Went back to the chalet to pass them the bike and we went night cycling!! =D Went to the playground there and played played played. Hehe. After a while, we went to a breakwater to sit, attempting to watch the sunrise but then some of them were hungry, so a few of us went to MAC to help them buy breakfast. And I was FREAKING tired. So, watching the sunrise was a failure, Tl Ivan and I headed back to the chalet and I went to sleep at 7 plus am and woke up at 10. SERIOUSLY. Until now, I don't know how I managed to survive. And the funniest thing is that, the person that slept the LEAST woke up 2nd. And after I woke up, I got a SHOCKED that no one else besides Bel and I were awake! And we had to check out before 11am if not they'll count it as one more day!! So I quickly went to wake all the others up even though I was feeling dizzy and nauseous(sp?) I felt like I was about to faint anytime! And waking the boys and Zy up were not easy okay!! I had to snatch all their blankets and made them feel cold so that they'll wake up. HAHAHAHAHA. Papa came to help us check out. THANK YOU =D Went to BurgerKing to eat Lunch and I was SO pissed because I really wanted to eat breakfast but the lady said that they didn't have, then in the end, Zy and Bel got breakfast! I was really angry because I didn't feel like eating burgers when I was feeling so sick!! And the burger made me feel worse! Well, I have to accept the fact that nothing goes well for me and that I'm bad at everything. So I have to adapt to failure, disappointment.

Went home and I slept like a PIG! I slept from... 1pm-10.45pm. IMAGINE THAT?! OH MY GOSH right. My seriously screwed body clock!! I don't know how am I going to turn it back to normal but I'll try. But I'm happy because I skipped 2 meals =D

Work tml at 12pm so I hope that will help me turn my clock back to normal.

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I have already wrote my New Year Resolution and put them in my favourite place =D That place carries a lot of my memories because I put my most memorable, treasured stuff there. I have 25 resolutions so I hope that I'll be able to fufill them by this year, 2010. But I think I need to go and add a few more inside, like.. Learn how to be more patience, Learn how to not get pissed when things are not going your way, Better leadership, and Control jealousy. But my paper has no more space. HAHA. Will do another set of New Year Resolutions ba?

It's 3.21am now. And soon, I'm going to FORCE myself to sleep at wake up at 10am.

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[Edited]
I found out something yesterday! MISS TIONG IS ALSO A "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL" FAN!! =D Then when I found out about it, the both of us were screaming like crazy!! And talking about it like SIAO please! And she bought the pig rabbit!! I also want! =D Am thinking of getting it after clearing my room of TOYS!

I love her =D She doesn't make me feel like she's a teacher but more of a friend. HEHE

2010-01-03T20:52:00.000-08:00
Jungle Adventure

Class Chalet Day 1 :
Woke up at 7.45am to go for church! Attended Lighthouse and listened to a message on "True Happiness". I thought that it was kinda good because I finally know how to have true eternal happiness. It is not to put all your hopes and wishes on one person to make sure that he/she will be there for you always, then you'll feel happy. Because no one will be there for you for eternity.

Met Liang Deng at BBQ Wholesale at 12.30pm then went to PP to buy the rest of the food. Papa came with us so that I could buy alcohol. =D Thank you Daddy! Then later, he drove myfriends and I to Aranda because we needed him to help us check in. Played Mahjong for a while then went to prepare the BBQ. Shall not talk much about it.

After the BBQ, Teng Lin, Mindy, KK and Sara Lynn came over after their trip to Genting. Drank one bottle of volka and was feeling really hot but I didn't get drunk =D. I told them that I wasn't drunk but they didn't believe. Lol. Okay, then played Mahjong , BlackJack , 3 6 9 and Serade(sp??) It was REALLY fun. =D Haha. Because the losers had to do forfeit and the guys had to dance to GEE, since it was with the Korean Gang, ME & Co. =) Then later we went to Mac to talk for a WHILE. Haha. Talked about all sorts of stuff until it was about 6.15am. Then later, we wanted to go and watch the sunrise together! But it rained =.= =(. Then after the rain stopped, Gideon, WeiBin, Leslie & I went to explore Pasir Ris Park =D Since we were the only ones that didn't feel tired and didn't want to sleep. AND, we will definitely be disturbing the rest if we continued to stay in the room. MUAHAHA. But after seeing all of them so tired and stuff, we decided to be nice and left them in peace =)

Our exploration adventure was seriously.. FUN & COOL. LOL. First, we just wanted to go to the beach. So we sat on the breakwater and just like relaxed. Then later on, we decided to go to the Mangrove place to have our adventure!! =D Though it might sound a bit childish but the adventure was seriously fun because we felt like we were not in Singapore, like we were in another foreign place. Explored until 10.30am then we went to meet the rest for breakfast at Subway.

After the Subway breakfast, Sarah had to go home and then we headed back to the room. I slept at.... 11.45am and woke up at 12pm. Because my brother called me 3 times and I thought that it was my alarm, then.. when I went to read the time, I didn't see the "1" before the "2" and thought that it was already 2 plus pm. But after that 15 mins nap, I felt damn energentic. HAHA.

And now I'm blogging here because they are busy playing Mahjong and I got nothing to do =( HAHA.

2010-01-01T09:22:00.001-08:00
HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2010 =D

HAPPY 1ST JANUARY 2010

Finally!! No more work for the next few days! Can FINALLY take day off-s =D Okay, I've MIA-ed for the past few days thanks to work work and more work. AHAHA. Well..... Tuesday and Wednesday was just work. Then thursday was work first --> Countdown --> Audrey's house

Thursday:

Worked from 6pm - 11.30pm. Was DAMN BUSY + CROWDED. I ALMOST D.I.E.D! Seriously, the machine was freaking JAMMED with all the orders and FYI, I'm the only person in the pantry!! So.. I have to do EVERYTHING by myself!! Drinks, ice creams, desserts, beer, wine, washing of utensils & cups & I have to go and SERVE some more!! DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME?! ahahhahahahahahaha. But well, that's why they're short-handed =(

Met the girls, Hw and Aud, at 11.45pm!! SO SORRY!! They were calling us but we couldn't answer because there was still MANY things to do!! Bought sprays and waiting for the countdown =D The countdown was fun but.. a bit not sync ah?! HAHA. Because there wasn't like anyone leading count down so... everyone said "HAPPY NEW YEAR" at different times! HAHA. But I still found it fun =D

Headed over to Audrey's house to have steamboat =D and sparkling juice. SERIOUSLY, I'm not going to drink sparkling juice so much anymore IF I don't have "feng you" with me!! Which is the medicated oil, BECAUSE, My stomach was like making funny noises due to the overdose of GAS! Haha. I felt SO horrible the whole night because the pain in my stomach went to my heart/chest there, so my heart/chest kinda hurt badly. AHAHA. Okay, whatever. Watched a movie called "Sand Chronicles", a Japanese Movie. I knew the guy looked familiar, because he's in a show that I'm watching now =D The movie was.... weird? HAHAHA. Okay, it's kinda confusing... Like, I'm not sure how come she suddenly ended up commiting suicide and stuff? LOL.

Took out Ngee Ann Primary's year book to see, AND, it's our PRIMARY 1 PHOTOS! =D Haha. We were laughing like some mad people when we saw some of our friends! HAHA. And I think we kinda woke ZY up from her nap thanks to our laughter! HAHAHA. Stayed up till 6 plus then went home. I felt SO sick when I was walking home, I thought I was about to collapse. HAHAHAHA. Then I put my feng you ( MY SAVIOUR ) and slept =D

Friday :
Woke up at 4pm ( MY LATEST!! ) and went to work. I almost died today AGAIN. And... NO ONE WAS THERE TO HELP ME =( At least yesterday, if I got REALLY busy, I'll shout "PANTRY JIU MING!!" Then if someone is like free (which is very seldom), that person will come and help me. But seriously, I WANT TO COME OUT LE!! PANTRY IS KILLING ME. Finished work and my hand was trembling. HAHAHAHA. I couldn't hold the things properly. My manager got a shock and even I got a shock myself. I couldn't even hold the green tea tea bag properly. AHAHAHA. So she said "I think you better not come tml, you should stay at home and rest" in chinese. Haha. BUT, my eye candy is working tml! =( He only work on weekends because of school and I'll be missing both weekends due to resting =D and Class chalet (!!!) I better make sure all my Sundays next time are F.R.E.E because my family haven't been eating together as a family for a while =(

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Okay, this post is.. SUPER LONG?! lol. Finally I got some time to spare =D. Shall take the next 15-20 mins doing my New Year Resolution and reflect on the things that happened in 2009!

“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!” William Arthur Ward quotes

2009-12-28T09:07:00.000-08:00
I'm suffering, suffocating& lonely

Watched Alvin and the Chipmucks today with Hw, Ada, LJing, WeiHao, XiangHao, HuiMin & Ernest Ng. Haha. I felt SO bad. Firstly because Hw and I only met them... 15 mins before the movie, then left 5 mins after the movie. AHAHA! Seriously. I'M SO SORRY! Headed down with Huiwen to Ikea and I spent SO much money! HAHA. But I'm quite happy with a few of my purchases but am unhappy with ONE!! Seriously pissed me off! HAHA. Bought a pink furry vest. =D It was love at first sight? But...... It doesn't match with the dress that I bought!! I'M SO UPSET!! I thought it would match!! ARGH! Had Ikea dinner =D Swedish meat balls!! Then home =D
Thank you Ada for the Christmas present!! =D

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Saturday:

Met ME&Co @ Whitesands. As usual, I'm one of the earliest! HAHAHA. LD and Teng Lin came later with Mindy Calvin KK & Sara Lynn. It was raining =( So our plan to go roller blading was POSTPONED! =( We thought it would be cancelled. So.. we wanted to go TeoHeng but it was fully booked then we decided to go play pool. After pool, we went to blade!! =D It's REALLY fun because I held onto KK's bag while he was cycling for 1 hour?! HAHA. It was like I was "Water skiing" (sp?) SERIOUSLY FUN! Haha. And it take skills to be able to do that! =D And at...7 plus pm when it was dark, KK then said he had night blindness?!! LOL. So I kinda had to guide him. ( SO HWANG TAE KYUNG can?! ) After blading, we went to have dinner! =D Zhi Cha. I'm quite happy because I ate less than 1/2 a bowl of rice and some dishes =D HAPPY. Some guys can REALLY eat! LOL.

Went to Mindy's house after that and played Mahjong ( this spelling looks weird ) for a while. After that, played "Pay Day" with TengLin, KK, and Mindy's sister, Jolie. =D It was SERIOUSLY DAMN FUN! LOL. Actually, I don't think it's the game that is fun but is the PEOPLE that are playing that is fun! HAHA. We got "scolded" by Mindy many times because we laughed TOO loudly! HAHAHA. Cause it was already 11pm plus and her grandmother is sleeping! HAHAHA. After finishing the game, TL and KK taught Jolie & I how to play POKER then we played BlackJack. HAHA. Went home around 12plus am.

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Yesterday :

TeoHeng with 2R4'07 =D I woke up late! =( Felt DAMN DAMN FREAKING GUILTY for not going to church. I PROMISED WITH MY LIFE THAT I'LL GO THIS COMING SUNDAY! I PROMISE! Sang "Bolero" =D TVXQ. And I wanted to dance to "GEE" but they like abit not enthu ah =( But can't blame them, they're not the Korean people. Had Astons for dinner & went to eat ice cream after that =D

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Gonna start work tml! Need to pack my room now!!! hahaha. So.. what am I going to do for Countdown?! Girls, please reply =D HAHAH.

2009-12-25T02:02:00.000-08:00
Merry Christmas!

Woke up at 12pm yesterday and went to PP to get some stuff for Mummy's present! I hope she'll like it!! I spent HOURS on it! Around 2 days? Haha. Gonna pass it to her later when Kor Kor comes back. Met ZY and Aud at PP and bought some stuff. I'm very happy with one of my purchase!! =D Went home at around 5 plus and rushed through half of Mummy's present then Hw & Jul came. Rushed like crazy and decided to wear my prom dress (?!!) to the countdown because I have NOTHING else to wear =( I NEED TO SHOP! K... Well, at least I matched it with my BOOTS! =D Happy that I bought it! I felt SOOO tall yesterday! HEHE.

Went to "La Mei Zi" to have dinner and went to Bugis. In the end we didn't go to Vivo because we were not sure whether there was a countdown there or not, so we stayed at Bugis. It didn't feel festive =( But never mind, at least we've learnt our lesson - Go Orchard. HAHA. They came over to my house after the countdown and played + Made noise + Exchanged presents + Just HAVE FUN! =D

At around 4-5am, Zy, Qy, Jul went to sleep while Hw was watching her drama and I was watching my movie. Aud.... I didn't really know what she was doing but she was definitely awake. HAHA. Did some.. pranks on someone and I laughed like C.R.A.Z.Y because her reaction was DAMN funny. It wouldn't sound nice if I say it like that because you guys didn't see it happen. HAHA. ZY and Qy left at 6.30am while the rest of us just continued what we were doing. They left around.... 9.30am? While I went to CLEAN UP my MESSY room! Seriously, it was like a freaking pig sty! It's SOOO much better now. Though it's still kinda... cramped up, all my displaying things, but it was much better than yesterday.

I couldn't believe that I could last one day without sleeping! YEAH! =D Met Audrey at PP at 12.30pm today and we just went shopping HAHA. Juline and HW were suppose to meet us!! But in the end, that pig didn't want to come and HW was really tired. Something DAMN embarrassing happened to me...

Me : *Calls Juline's house phone because she didn't answer her handphone for like 123456789 times?! *
Me : *Scolds her* HELLO?! NI HAI ZAI SHUI JIAO?! *blah blah blah*
On the line : Huh?
Me : Oh shit, eh sorry, Juline please?
On the line : JULINE, NI DE PENG YOU
Me : OHMEG!!!OHMEG!!!

I scolded Juline's sister!!! OHMEG!! Cause they REALLY sounded like each other. OHMEG! I was SUPER traumatised after that la please?! I was like... I still can't believe it. HAHAHAHAHAHA Damn funny!

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Went home at around 3pm and finished up "My girlfriend is an agent" & watched "I love you, Beth Cooper" I planned to watch it with the girls but my plan failed badly! HAHA. Resisted sleeping because I don't want to spoil my body clock but I can sense that I'm going to fall sick soon!

I bling-ed my mouse & my thumbdrive! LOL. But it's kinda not completed yet, cause I don't have enough of the blings.

2009-12-22T11:20:00.000-08:00
All I want for Christmas is you

Had outing with Huiwen today!! But before that, went to PP to get my hard disk but the colour + size I want was OOS so Papa and I had to go to Simei to get it. Met Huiwen and we went many places! =D Cityhall + Bugis + Haji + FEP + 313 + PP! HAHAHA. By the time we went home, it was already 11.30pm and actually. We didn't get much things!! I still have many things to shop and I still want to shop!! Haha but LOVE the day with her! =D

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One thing I'm REALLLLLLY happy about now! =D

SM is getting sued, AGAIN! YES DAMN HAPPY DAMN HAPPY!! SO HAPPY!! This time, it's by a SUJU member, Hankyung. I was laughing while reading part the of contract because SM is just plain ridiculous. Haha, seriously, I was like "haha, see!" Well, all I have to say is that, SM don't treat their artist as humans, they think that they are some robots.

Cut out :
After debut, if he was late or absent from his schedule, he would have to pay for all the damage; if he cuts the contacts with SM for more than 1 day according to the situation, SM can cancel his contract.

Hankyung even had been forced to attend some activities because of SM's order when he was ill.

During the contract period, all the copyright of albums and song will belong to SM. Even if Hankyung were to write, compose, and/or arrange the songs, they can be used by SM without his permission.

As for the profit, the album has to sell more than 50,000 copies before Hankyung can receive 2% of the profit.
The digital sales have to be equal with the net profit before Hankyung can get 10% of the profit.
The overseas income has to be equal with the net profit too before Hankyung can get 60% of the profit.

LIKE, WTH?! Digital Sales has to be EQUAL with the net profit?! Is that even possible?! What if you sell 1 CD and get $5 net profit. How can you ever match them? And it's NOT easy to sell 50,000 copies of CDs lor, and SM just gives him a miserable 2% of the profit. So the remaining 98% will go to SM! If it doesn't sell above 50,000, then SM will get 100% of the profit! SM IS RIDICULOUS LA. I don't know what to say about them.

I hope that this case against SME will help DBSK win their court case!! Always keep the faith! =D

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Am going shopping again later!! Because it's 3:35am now and I'm still NOT asleep! I need to wake up at 10:30am to go Minibits to sign my form! LOL. I think I can die from the lack of sleep. Organising my iTunes + Computer is SOOOO tiring! =(

2009-12-20T08:53:00.000-08:00
Though it hurts, but I didn't cry

I couldn't wake up for church again! =( DAMN GUILTY!! DAMN GUILTY!! DAMN GUILTY!!! I MUST MUST MUST go next week!! Woke up then had lunch and went to PP to get baking needs. MY GOODNESS! This powder called "Meringue powder" is like some what? Ancient treasure?! LOL. I couldn't find it ANYWHERE! I was so pissed and I was carrying SOOO many heavy things and when I was walking, there were so many people smoking! I HATE IT. I seriously got damn bitchy. LOL. I don't understand why people think smoking is cool. ARGHH!! Headed home and searched for recipes to substitute the Meringue powder.

Went to Best Denki with family and I got a NEW LOVE! =D My PINK VAIO CW! =D It was the LAST piece!! Lucky lucky me! =D YEAH!! Haha. I expected my parents to ask me to get the red one but they said "The red one not nice!! The pink one is much nicer!!" So I got the pink one! =D Now.. I'm all red/pinky LOL. All of my things are somehow either red or pink! AHHA.

Went to meet the class peeps at Ion and went to watch the play. It was nice! =D and I thought that it was a very good way of showing the birth of Jesus Christ. Love the pink bunny! HAHAHA. After the play, we went for supper at Bedok85. Except for Mindy though, she was DAMN tired. Then we just stayed there and talked talked talked until 12.30am. HAHA!! I kinda liked the talk!! I don't think I've talked to my class peeps like this before. HAHA. Took cab home because the last bus was at 11.52am. HAHA.

2009-12-19T07:21:00.000-08:00
This wound, it deepens every moment

I LOVE MY BROTHER =D I came home yesterday night and saw a disney land plastic bag on my bed.. Guess what was inside?! HAHA. Okay,
- A Lunchbox
- DBSK Playing cards. The exact one that I bought in Singapore when my brother was overseas!! HAHAHA. Really brothers and sisters.
- JaeJoong Coin Purse!! I don't know if I should use it!! I scared dirty!!
- 2 DBSK cards =D HAHAH.
- One ribbon pin & one Star pin =D BOTH has a MEANING behind it!! And it's bling bling kind!! I like! =D HEHEHE He really knows my taste.

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Performance was good. HAHA. Had such a fun time dancing Abracadabra & Gee because TengLin and KiatKiong were trying to dance it on the floor when we were performing! =D SO HAPPY to see them dance. Somemore Gee was my most confident dance so far. Thank you everyone who came down and support!!! Thank you Hw,Aud,Zy,TL,Leslie,Sara,KK =D Hope you guys had fun!! =D HAHA.

Had "supper" with the girls after the performance and went home. Was SOO tired, I slept at 1am. Woke up at 8.30am today and reached Elias Mall at 9.30am. *Stares at the rest* Waited till 10.10am then Tenglin and Sara came! WE WERE SUPPOSE TO MEET AT 9.30AM!! So I went down to 7 11 to buy a magazine to read because I didn't expect them to be LATE. lol. I bought a Kpop magazine =D =D Since I just bought 2 of my fav mags yesterday! Then Ld and Cal came. Went to the CC and played for a while then Mindy came. Played Played Played and talked =D HAHA. After the game, we went to a food court to have lunch then Mindy's house for Mahjong. At first I KEPT losing because I was DAMN tired and couldn't think properly. Then later I was leading... HOWEVER, Thanks to Tenglin, I lost "money" HAHA. I had to "pay" him $3.20!! then at the end of the game, I lost a bit of money. If not, I also can win one lor!! HAHA.

Mindy was playing her iTunes songs when we were playing Mahjong, then I was like singing to almost every song! HAHAHAH. Because mostly is KPop. =D HAHA.

Getting my baking things today was such a failure!! HAHA. I hope I can get it tml! I MUST. I'm going to get my Laptop tml!! PRAY that I WILL be able to get it! =D yeah

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I just read this!!

The performer lent a word of advice to them: "If you can sing, be a singer, but if you can't, don't. If you don't heed my advice, I will punish you."

She added, "When I see an aspiring singer who can't sing, I feel like that the person only wants to become a singer to become a celebrity."

Even netizens, who are the bane of all Korean celebrities' existence, agreed with Ivy:
"Gyuri, Goo Hara, Yoona, Jessica, Sandara Park, Seung Ri, Sohee, Taecyeon, Nichkhun, Chansung, Super Junior, Minho, Hyung Joon... are you listening?"

I kinda don't agree about Jessica!! I think she can sing! I'm not sure about Nichkhun cause I didn't hear him sing before. LOL. But I thought Sandara Park and Goo Hara are okay.

2009-12-17T22:42:00.000-08:00
Tomorrow, I can make it right.

Okay. Finished Celeb No Binbo Taro =D and Beyond the Realm of Conscience. Haha. Started on a new Jap drama and now I'm going to find one more to watch =D Okay. I already saved a list of Japanese Dramas that I want to watch! HAHA. It's like a SUPER long one. Gonna get ready for the performance later. Though I'm not very excited for it, but I don't know why I'm nervous and scared. HAHA. Well.. WHATEVER, I'm just going to give it my best! PLEASE SCREAM AND SUPPORT!! =D

Will update more later when I get home.

Kor Kor and Mummy are coming back from HongKong today! =D Then I can get my Lappie either tml or Sunday! YEAH YEAH.

And I had this really nice and funny dream!! HAHAHA.

CAN'T WAIT to go shopping next week!! My wardrobe is HORRIBLY PATHETIC!

2009-12-16T06:33:00.000-08:00
Be honest to yourself

PIG RABBIT =D

I FOUND THE PIG RABBIT! I WANT MY TUAI-GEE-TO-KI!! Who's buying Christmas Present for me?! OH QIU YIN!! HAHAHAHAHA QIU YIN!! *WINKS WINKS* I want to pin too! MUAHAHAHA. haha.

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Work today from 3-8pm. I told my manager I want to quit le.. But she didn't allow =( So I'll see how lor.. But I really got no time!! I already plan what to do from tml onwards.

Thurs - Dance
Fri - Dance
Sat - Shop for *
Sun - Rest
Mon - Go out
Tues - HEH HEH
Wed - Go out
Thurs - Celeb
Fri - Celeb

SEE!! SO PACKED ALREADY =D ahahah I love it when I'm packed!!

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Melon Music Awards.
The guys are going to be DAMN happy because.. SNSD's "GEE" won..
-2009 SONG
-2009 ODYSSEY
-2009 MOBILE MUSIC
Are they THAT good?! =(
My TVXQ won..
2009 STAR: TVXQ
2009 MANIA: TVXQ "Mirotic"
They ARE THAT good =D HEHEHEHE

AND... did I mention that Jang Guen Suk and Park Shin Hye hosted the Melon Music Awards TOGETHER?! =D =D SO ON PURPOSE LA!

2009-12-15T06:51:00.000-08:00
Pig Rabbit

I missed BEG at Orchard Central on Sunday!!=( that was partly because I couldn't find the schedule where they would be having events!! IRRITATING! Now, I can't meet BEG, neither can I meet Lee Hong Ki / FT Island! =( IRRITATING!! I hope BEG stays till Friday and come to Tampines Chang Kat CC to see our dance!! PLEASE BEG!!

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Had work today from 12-4. Was expecting someone to come *winks winks* HAHA. But she came late!! BUT at least I still saw her! YEAH. haha. Met Huiwen after work and ate New Zealand ice cream =D Met the rest of the girls later. Discussed about what we want to do for Christmas and Huiwen and I headed down to PP. It has been so long since the both of us just window shopped. HAHA. Well, PP is BORING. We didn't know what to do, but I didn't want to go home so early. So after I got my things for Christmas, we just... walked around, looked at stuff and talked talked and talked. AHHA. Missed walking around with her!!

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Personal thoughts :

Sometimes... I don't like people that are not being.... themselves? Or maybe when they act like that, it's themselves. Well, everyone has their opinions towards different actions. When I don't like the person to do that or say that, other people might find it okay. But I don't like it. If I don't know or I don't like, I'll just like to say it, I wouldn't really think of what the other person thinks because I'm like lying to that person. Actually I'm not only lying to that person but I'm lying to myself and other people. That's why I usually like to keep my stand to myself, though I keep repeating the same thing but at least I feel good because I don't need to lie to myself and other people when I like or don't like something. I'll either say it out, or keep my opinions to myself. I don't want people to hang out with me because I like what they like or I don't like what they don't. I want people to hang out with me because they like the real me. I can like what they don't like and they can like what I don't. It seems very normal to me. How can someone totally like what I like? It's not possible.

2009-12-14T05:01:00.000-08:00
I will love you my boy

I overslept today!! Was almost late for work. Work was at 12pm and I woke up at around 11.20pm?! Then I rushed like crazy. Luckily I wasn't late. Eye candy wasn't here today =( HAHA. Worked till 4pm then saw Juline at ECP. HAHA. She was running while calling my name. At first I thought I heard someone calling me, but then I was like "Must be hearing things!" Then I walked away. HAHA. But it was because she was blocked by the pond that's why I didn't see her. Home and slept for 1 hour plus. OMG LA. LOL. I think I'm becoming a pig!! But it has been SOO long since I took an afternoon nap =D It felt so great. Well.. Now, I'm so awake and am feeling SO fat because I just ate dinner. Ho ho ho.

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I just smsed my manager and told her that I couldn't handle two jobs.. I dare not reply her sms!! =(

2009-12-13T08:20:00.000-08:00
Without words, I felt your love

Had dance practice today with the J.E.W.X =D Changed the whole routine, YEAH YEAH!! =D This one is.. F.U.N!!! And cool at the same time! =D We're going to perform for the LOUD party on Friday 18 dec 09 =D DO COME AND SUPPORT!!!! I'm not sure of the time and venue yet... LJing will inform us later. If you're Korean fans, then.. C.O.M.E! =D THANKS. This might be the last performance that we're going to perform together because all of us will be going our seperate ways. =( Aight...

Work was TIRING today!! SO SO SO MANY customers!!!!! And I did Pantry alone! Okay la.. Got some time one of the Kor Kor come help me.. HENG AH!! But it's really irritating because there wasn't enough cups, so I had to run to the kitchen to FIND cups! And I feel DAMN BAD, because one table ordered 8 cups of water and I took like...... half an hour? to give them all 8!! BECAUSE I was running around finding cups!! LOL. Worked till 11pm and got "transport" home =D HAHA. I like the people there, they are so nice!! =D I found an eye candy at work!! OMG OMG!! Can't wait to tell the other 2. BUT, if they don't find him handsome, they're going to laugh at me =( haha. But he's really nice too! HEHEHE!!

Still got work at 12pm tml! Tiring tiring tiring!!! K BYE. I think I need to rearrange my schedule with them.. HAHAHA. AND, I don't want to work during Christmas =(

2009-12-11T09:25:00.000-08:00
You're the star in my heart

First day of work today from 12pm to 11pm. Has 2 hours break in between =D Met Zy and Aud during that 2 hours. This job is SOOO MUCH MORE FUN!!!! Seriously!! And the people there are really nice!! =D Okay. But my legs are BREAKING. Seriously!! Kor kor is off to Taiwan & Hong Kong. Zi Ying is going to Bali. Mummy is STILL in Hk. Zhi Xiang is going to India ( to find a bride ) HAHAHA!! So many people are overseas now / going to overseas.

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You're Beautiful is just... TOO FREAKING SWEET/ROMANTIC FOR ME TO HANDLE!!! SERIOUSLY! OMG. I was SCREAMING!!! From 12am to now... which is 1.28am AND. I have not finish the ep!! STILL SCREAMING!! OMG. I LOVE JANG GEUN SUK, PARK SHIN HYE, LEE HONG KI AND KANG SHIN WOO (Character in the show). The show made me REALLY REALLY HATE UEE. IRRITATING B***H!! hahahah. But this shows that her acting is REALLY GOOD!! I LOVE LEE HONG KI SO MUCH!! HAHA HE'S IN SINGAPORE! But it's gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DIFFICULT TO EVEN SEE HIM! =( So.. PLEASE COME TO MINIBITS TO BUY!! HAHAH. I LOVE MINAMI!!

That's why I KEPT saying BOF is SUPER over-rated. I don't think it's THAT nice. Maybe it's nice, but to me, Minami can beat BOF HANDS DOWN!! And the best thing is... all the actors in Minami can sing LIVE!! =D They are SO good. But... AHEM AHEM. Better not say, or the SS501 fans will start killing me. But trust me, try hear them sing live, to me, only two sound good.

Well... Am thinking of quitting one job.. Two is just TOO much for me to handle =( And I still have many people to date out!!